I was just a day overdue, which is really not a big deal for me. I was expecting to go many many days overdue if my last deliveries were any indication. I was pretty determined to give birth on my own time and not be induced, but wasn't sure if I would have a choice. My doctor had been testing my platelet levels for a few weeks and they were steadily decreasing. Having low platelets can cause excessive bleeding after labor. Doctors also won't give an epidural to a woman in labor if her counts are below a certain number. I'm not sure exactly why, but it puts you at risk for spinal clots and can cause paralysis. Basically, it's not a good thing. As my counts started dropping I got really nervous. First of all, I am totally anti-induction, but I knew that if there was a risk to my health or my baby's then there was no question that I would have it done. But as the counts got lower I became concerned because they use pitocin with inductions and that makes the contractions so much more painful and if I couldn't have an epidural I didn't know how I would manage.
I had a checkup just a few days before my due date and my platelet level was fairly stable so we pushed on with no induction (I was also 3cm dilated, yay!). I started having a few contractions here and there on my due date (December 1st). I had been having Braxton Hicks since early in my second trimester, but for the first time I felt more than just a mild discomfort. They were few and far between, but at least it meant my body was getting ready. The next day was Friday and Calli had a winter party at her school that evening. We were going to drop her off and then go over to a friend's house for our weekly game night. At the last minute I decided I wasn't feeling very well and we decided to cancel. I still took Calli and picked her up from school that night and when I got home I thought maybe my contractions were getting a little more painful. I decided to go to bed and try and get some sleep. I absolutely hate going into labor at night. I had been up all day already and then would be up all night and the next day again and it wouldn't be easy. I was hoping if I could get a few hours of sleep it would all be okay.
Of course I wasn't able to sleep and finally got out of bed around 11pm. As I walked around my contractions were more painful and plentiful. I texted my friend to see if she was awake (she was) and told her I thought I might be in labor. I also told her that I wasn't sure though and I was totally second guessing myself about it. My friend's husband is overseas and she has two young kids and I would have felt extremely guilty asking her to come over for a false alarm (really?! A false alarm on the fourth baby? You would think I would know these things by now!). She told me if I was in pain it was probably best to be checked out. So I went to wake Richard up and get everything together and wait for my friend to get there. As we were waiting the contractions got stronger and really painful. They were also closer than I thought (maybe 2-3 minutes apart). Richard of course remained calm and composed...okay not really!! As soon as my friend pulled up, we were off to the hospital.
We pulled up around midnight and I guess the nice thing about getting there in the middle of the night is that you don't have to fight for parking or hike a mile to get to the hospital. Things had changed since I had been there last to have Serena and Jameson. They had remodeled some of their labor and delivery unit. Of course I hadn't pre-registered, but in my defense we were in the process of switching insurances so I didn't have all the information...then I just forgot to do it. So we had to fill out a little paperwork and answer a few questions and by then I was in a lot of pain. Finally they had Richard finish up and took me to triage (triage for labor...really?!?! It's 2011!). I had thoughts of going natural throughout my pregnancy. I thought since it was my last baby I could try it. I had my best labor and delivery with Serena when I labored at home with her throughout the day and got to the hospital being 7cm dilated. I got there just in time for the epidural and thought about not getting it, but was ultimately too scared (now I realize just how smart that was!).
The pain was so intense that I told them right away that I wanted the epidural, but I also mentioned my low platelets. So they took bloodwork immediately so we would know if I could have my epidural. I was already 8cm dilated (yep, definitely in labor!) and asked for something to take the edge off the pain. It felt like a really long time before I was moved from the triage area to my delivery room and they gave me something right before I was taken there. At first I felt really good, but I think I just didn't have contractions for a little bit and that's why I wasn't in pain.
I was finally put into my room and the contractions came on strong again. Let me tell you...when you are 8cm dilated and full on in labor there is nothing in the world short of an epidural that can "take the edge off" your pain. I kept asking about my lab results and finally a nurse came in and told the other nurse in my room that the doctor had my results and they were "discussing it". I knew right then that I would not be getting the epidural. If my platelets were fine there would be no discussion, I would have been getting those pain meds at that moment. And sure enough the doctor came in and told me the count was too low, I was risking being paralyzed, blah blah blah. I'm pretty sure you know you're in a lot of pain when you hear risks like that and think "I don't even care, just give it to me!!" I was told they could do some blood clotting test on my arm and if it clotted in an appropriate amount of time they might give me the epidural. I barely remember this, but I do remember wondering why in the world they even bothered to do it. I felt like they were just giving me the "maybe" option to make me feel better (it didn't).
The doctor told me he could break my water and the baby would probably come very quickly after that, but I was nervous because what if the baby didn't come quickly? I knew contractions got even more intense (was that even possible!?) after the waters are broken and I couldn't imagine having to be in that pain for hours and hours. I really didn't think I could do it. Like I had a choice right?! But I really just wanted to die...the pain was incredible and even though I knew it would be over eventually that wasn't much consolation.
Not long after telling me that option, my water broke on it's own. Never have I understood what it means when a woman has the urge to push or can't stop pushing, but now I know! It does make you feel a little better to be doing something productive during the contractions at least. After about ten minutes of pushing the baby was out. I had asked the doctor to just hold him/her up so we could see ourselves if it was a boy or a girl. So that's what he did and I was shocked to see it was a BOY. I love my Jameson, but I think I would have chosen to have another girl if I could have ;). I remember calling my friend who was staying with my kids right after and telling her "it's a friggen boy". We had been talking about it my whole pregnancy and I think we both felt it would be a boy, even though we were crossing our fingers for a girl. (I was feeling a little guilty writing that since I'm sure Bryson will read it someday! But it's not as if I don't love him the same and think he's wonderful and so wanted. He is all those things and I couldn't imagine having a girl now. But at the same time Bryson, let's face it: you are a male and you will never truly appreciate what I went through during your birth to bring you into the world since you will never be the one to push a child of your own out ;)).
After that delivery though I didn't really care which came out, as long as it was healthy. It was hard to believe that it was only 2am and I had only been in the hospital for two hours!! It felt like a lifetime. After he was born the pain was gone and it was heaven. It was kind of nice to be able to get up and walk immediately after. When I had my epidural with Jameson my legs felt too numb and I hated it. Plus he ended up in the NICU and I couldn't even see him until the numbness wore off, which took awhile. But even given all that, I would have taken the epidural a million times over. I am not sure who all these women are that say natural childbirth is so amazing, but I am not one of them. There was no one there to give me a medal when I was done or even pat me on the back and say "great job". So what's the point in feeling all the pain when I could have been blissfully unaware? I'm just very glad that Bryson was my last because I'm pretty sure if he was my first we would only have one kid.
It took us awhile to decide on a name. We didn't really have any boys names picked out and of course it ended up being a boy. Everyone kept asking his name and I was stressing out trying to choose something. I had used up all my favorites with the other three!! I had heard the name Bryson a few years ago when I had a boy on my soccer team with that name. I loved it and thought I'd use it if I had another boy someday. Richard didn't really like the name though, but he finally came around.
We had a rough first week home with Bryson and he is kind of a cranky little thing, but I think he gets a little happier every day. He didn't sleep well at night at all the first few days we were home. He didn't like his basinett, he didn't want to co-sleep...we were at a loss. Finally after a few days we tried to have him sleep in his bouncer seat. I thought maybe he liked being more upright when he slept. And that night he slept a four hour stretch, followed by another three. It was amazing!! Since then that's where he's been sleeping and will sleep anywhere from a 4-6 hour stretch. I know that I eventually have to break him sleeping in there, but for now I just don't care.
Bryson is 2.5 weeks old now and I am trying to soak up every minute of his baby-ness. He is my last so I want to enjoy this time with him. I haven't been taking it very easy because who can rest with four kids and Christmas coming?! But we've been having fun and adjusting to life with four kids. I am excited for Jameson to have a brother and look forward to seeing them play together someday. It worked out well for us to have two girls and then two boys. They each have their own little playmate close to their age. I just don't know what I'm going to do when Serena goes off to school and I am left with just the BOYS getting into mischief! Lord help me :).
