My feet are killing me. My stomach is in knots. My arms are even sore and I'm exhausted. Finishing the twelve miles this week was tough, I'm not going to lie. During last week's eleven mile run I took a different route and avoided doing any major hills. This week I decided I wanted to be ready for anything the race might throw my way and that included hills, so I took them on. I keep wishing I knew what the course looked like so I could know that I'm not doing all of that for nothing. Between the hills and wind this week, it was hard. I am so sick of the wind here. Every run I've done for the last two weeks has had the wind holding me back. Satan's winds I call them. I chant a string of profanity in my head cursing the winds, cursing this place as I run. The funny thing is, I am sure when it's the dead of summer, 100 degrees out and I am begging for a tiny breeze, the trees will stand still. But now that it is nice running weather there has to be something to interfere with that. Nothing comes easy right? And if it was easy then why would I even care so much about doing it? If it was easy, then everyone could and would do it and it would be no great accomplishment.
I hate running far from my house so this is why I feel it's necessary sometimes to push myself to leave my comfort zone. Today I was five miles from home at one point and more than a little relieved when I finally turned back to head home. At that point, even though I had more miles to run, it was like I had already run them because I knew I would have to get home. I don't carry my cell phone with me on runs so it's all up to me to get it done. By the time I was back in my neighborhood I had four miles left to go! It felt like an eternity. The wind had really kicked up and I started to feel defeated. I thought maybe I would just do eleven miles again this week. After all, I feel pretty confident that if I can do eleven miles, I could do thirteen during the race. But mentally I wanted to know that I had run twelve miles before my race because I'll add just one more mile to that. That seems very doable (running is so mental for me most of the time). The last three miles were death. I just counted them off in my head, keeping a very slow pace and not caring if I met my goal time or not. I just wanted to finish. By the time I was under one mile to go I just wanted to cry. My feet hurt so bad and my body was falling apart. I wanted to break into tears, but I promised myself I could let it all out when it was over.
My family was there to meet me at the door with water and hugs. I collapsed on the couch and felt my emotions bubble up into tears. I just had to take a minute to cry. It was so HARD. I know there's a reason I am doing all this and I am proud of all I have accomplished. I never thought of running as difficult before. Now I know how truly wrong that was. Making your feet move at a running pace for over two hours is HARD. Pushing through pain is HARD. Overcoming mental obstacles is HARD. Finishing thirteen miles will be HARD, but I can do it. I know I can.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Pinkalicious!!
This has been a favorite book in our house for awhile. If you have never heard of it, you are missing out! You are also behind because now they have Purplicious and Goldilicious too! There is a children's theater here putting on a play of Pinkalicious. I absolutely LOVE children's theaters! We have been to a few, both here and in CA and they seriously rock. There was one theater here I used to love that shut down last year so that was sad. I had never been to this particular one (The Magik Theater) but I always see the information in the paper, local magazines and online. A friend from soccer has season passes to the theater and graciously offered to take us to a showing of Pinkalicious on Friday evening.
We started off the night with pancakes at IHOP (yum!). We got to the theater nice and early to get the perfect seats. Popcorn and drinks were so reasonably priced (just $2 for popcorn and $1 for a drink!) so we loaded up on those too. And of course I had to get Calli a Pinkalicious shirt, wand and tiara, which she loved.
The show was fabulous. I thought it would be just a boring kids play that I would have to suffer through in the name of love for my daughter, but it wasn't like that at all. It was funny and peppered with some (clean of course!!) adult humor to keep us entertained. The hour flew by and it was over before we knew it. We stood in line on the way out to get the cast's autographs and pose for pictures with them. We can't wait to go back another time for a different show!
My very own Pinkalicious, all ready for the show!
Mommy and Pinkalicious (of course I had to wear pink too!)
Calli in her new shirt, tiara and wand with the stage in the background
Calli and one of the bees (buzz off, I am not a flower!!)
Calli and Peter, the little brother. He turns PINK at the very end.
Calli and Pinkalicious herself :)
We started off the night with pancakes at IHOP (yum!). We got to the theater nice and early to get the perfect seats. Popcorn and drinks were so reasonably priced (just $2 for popcorn and $1 for a drink!) so we loaded up on those too. And of course I had to get Calli a Pinkalicious shirt, wand and tiara, which she loved.
The show was fabulous. I thought it would be just a boring kids play that I would have to suffer through in the name of love for my daughter, but it wasn't like that at all. It was funny and peppered with some (clean of course!!) adult humor to keep us entertained. The hour flew by and it was over before we knew it. We stood in line on the way out to get the cast's autographs and pose for pictures with them. We can't wait to go back another time for a different show!
My very own Pinkalicious, all ready for the show!
Mommy and Pinkalicious (of course I had to wear pink too!) Calli in her new shirt, tiara and wand with the stage in the background Calli and one of the bees (buzz off, I am not a flower!!) Calli and Peter, the little brother. He turns PINK at the very end. Calli and Pinkalicious herself :)Friday, March 26, 2010
April 6th!
That is the date that Jameson will get his helmet off. For sure. I am not lying this time! He really, truly, definitely, absolutely will get it off! He will still have to wear it for 2-3 weeks at night and during naps, but during the day he can have his sweet little free from that stinky helmet! And boy is it stinky! I am looking forward to not having to clean it out with the alcohol wipes. And most of all I am looking forward to being able to kiss and cuddle him without that big helmet getting in the way and without having to deal with the stench that lingers on his head when we take it off. I must admit though, he looks damn cute in it, there is no denying that part.
It has been a long journey and he will have had it nearly 4.5 months. His head was down to 3.5mm assymetry last week at his helmet appointment. The pediatric neuro surgeon warned me that she doesn't see many babies get down below three, but I had to still try. After all, he was very young when he started it and his head has grown faster than if he got it when he was 9+ months old.
We've been through a lot with Jameson in his helmet. For the millionth time, I am so thankful that we did this and so thankful that something like this even exists. For a boy, it is especially important to have a somewhat normal shaped head, as they wear their hair much shorter than girls. Want to hear something funny? I had the orthotist measure MY head at Jameson's last appointment and I am 3mm! I will be getting a helmet soon ;). Okay, but seriously, you can't even tell (right?!?). I never would have known. But I also have the benefit of having long hair to cover anything that might look funny. Jameson doesn't have that same fortune and what if he wants to shave his head one day? What if he joins the military and HAS to shave his head someday? What if he just doesn't want a funny lookin' noggin? You are welcome kid! It hasn't always been fun or easy, but it's been worth it. He will definitely have an adjustment period when the helmet comes off, that's for sure! I keep saying that this helmet has also been a PROTECTIVE one for him, even though that's not it's purpose. Jameson falls and hits his head on the hard floor and thinks nothing of it. He has become accustomed even to throwing his head back hard, knowing there are no conquences. And those times when he is on a helmet break and hits his head on the floor are tough learning experiences for him. So needless to say, I will have to keep a closer eye on him as he is beginning to test the walking waters (he is cruising now and it won't be long before he lets go!).
April 6th, mark your calendars! Perfect timing as we're going on a vacation the following week to a water park and I'm not sure that helmet + water park = good idea. What is it going to be like taking my baby out without a helmet? He is going to be a normal kid; no funny looks or stares, no sympathetic stories from other parents about their helmet babies, no comments about the 49ers (how are people going to know we're 49er fans now???). My favorite thing is when people ask me if JAMESON likes the 49ers. They will quite seriously ask "so is he a 49er fan?" Why yes he is and he insisted I paint his helmet gold and red or he wouldn't wear it!
Goodbye helmet, you will be (slightly) missed. Thank you for all your hard work and dedication. I owe you.
It has been a long journey and he will have had it nearly 4.5 months. His head was down to 3.5mm assymetry last week at his helmet appointment. The pediatric neuro surgeon warned me that she doesn't see many babies get down below three, but I had to still try. After all, he was very young when he started it and his head has grown faster than if he got it when he was 9+ months old.
We've been through a lot with Jameson in his helmet. For the millionth time, I am so thankful that we did this and so thankful that something like this even exists. For a boy, it is especially important to have a somewhat normal shaped head, as they wear their hair much shorter than girls. Want to hear something funny? I had the orthotist measure MY head at Jameson's last appointment and I am 3mm! I will be getting a helmet soon ;). Okay, but seriously, you can't even tell (right?!?). I never would have known. But I also have the benefit of having long hair to cover anything that might look funny. Jameson doesn't have that same fortune and what if he wants to shave his head one day? What if he joins the military and HAS to shave his head someday? What if he just doesn't want a funny lookin' noggin? You are welcome kid! It hasn't always been fun or easy, but it's been worth it. He will definitely have an adjustment period when the helmet comes off, that's for sure! I keep saying that this helmet has also been a PROTECTIVE one for him, even though that's not it's purpose. Jameson falls and hits his head on the hard floor and thinks nothing of it. He has become accustomed even to throwing his head back hard, knowing there are no conquences. And those times when he is on a helmet break and hits his head on the floor are tough learning experiences for him. So needless to say, I will have to keep a closer eye on him as he is beginning to test the walking waters (he is cruising now and it won't be long before he lets go!).
April 6th, mark your calendars! Perfect timing as we're going on a vacation the following week to a water park and I'm not sure that helmet + water park = good idea. What is it going to be like taking my baby out without a helmet? He is going to be a normal kid; no funny looks or stares, no sympathetic stories from other parents about their helmet babies, no comments about the 49ers (how are people going to know we're 49er fans now???). My favorite thing is when people ask me if JAMESON likes the 49ers. They will quite seriously ask "so is he a 49er fan?" Why yes he is and he insisted I paint his helmet gold and red or he wouldn't wear it!
Goodbye helmet, you will be (slightly) missed. Thank you for all your hard work and dedication. I owe you.
Clifford!
We love to go to storytime! For the longest time I didn't know that bookstores did storytimes, I thought it was just libraries. I really enjoy the libraries, but the bookstores have weekend storytimes, which is really fun to go to as a family. Last Sunday after I completed my eleven mile run (yes I had to throw that in there!) we went to storytime at Barnes N Noble. This was a special storytime because CLIFFORD the Big Red Dog was going to be there IN THE FUR.
After listening to four Clifford stories, the kids made little dog collars and then got to pose for a photo with Clifford himself. Super cute!
Waiting for storytime to start.
Calli with the dog collar she made.
Calli and Serena with Clifford
After listening to four Clifford stories, the kids made little dog collars and then got to pose for a photo with Clifford himself. Super cute!
Waiting for storytime to start.
Calli with the dog collar she made. Calli and Serena with Clifford 
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Three is best
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like had we stopped at two kids. Don't get me wrong: I love all my children very much (most of the time) and wouldn't trade them for the world. I actually really enjoy having three (most of the time) and know that all the blessings each of them bring me will be three-fold. I see the family of five being the perfect size (as I'm sure those families of six, seven, eight, etc. see theirs as the perfect size) and I love it.
That being said, I look at my friends that have two. I recently joined a mom's playgroup and have been making a lot of new friends. Most of them have one or two kids, a few have three like me. But I look at them and think how easy it must be to just have the two. And especially when they have two farther apart in age (having three under five is fun, but hard too). I am envious of the moms who don't even need to carry diaper bags because their little ones are all out of diapers and weaned off bottles.
I think I manage three pretty well. There's no doubt I am outnumbered. I have more kids than I have hands and that can be scary at times. Luckily I have a double stroller for the mall or even just a single stroller for Jameson. He is starting to get anxious in it though and even doesn't like to be held; he wants to get down and PLAY. Son, you can only crawl still and when you can walk I will put you down! And despite the fact that Serena has been a nightmare lately, to say the least, it's somewhat reassuring to know that she is not one to just take off and run away from me. None of my kids have ever been like that; I have a friend who DOES have a daughter with that kind of personality and I have seen how scary it can be.
I try to appreciate the moment. I try to sing that country song that tells me "you're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days, hadn't gone by so fast". And yes, maybe it's true. But it is so hard to appreciate the little moments in life as they are actually happening. To appreciate the poopy diapers, the night wakings, the tantrums, the going it alone. One day it won't be like this and I'll look back nostagically and think "was it really THAT bad?" I think that's why women keep having babies. We get a little touch of amnesia and convince ourselves that childbirth, having a newborn, changing diapers, potty training, discipling...wasn't really THAT bad. It's a good thing too or the human race just might die out.
My point...my point is forgotten as it usually is when I start writing. I have three kids. I am not a saint. I am not deserving of any awards or special recognition and I sure as hell don't want a medal for raising my own kids (except for from my own kids one day. I expect lots of thank yous and money for my hard work). But I do think that I do a fair job with what I have been given. Sometimes I lose sight of things as the days drag on, but I look at those moms of two and think you know, I wouldn't have my life any other way. And you know what? Maybe they should be jealous of me. :)
That being said, I look at my friends that have two. I recently joined a mom's playgroup and have been making a lot of new friends. Most of them have one or two kids, a few have three like me. But I look at them and think how easy it must be to just have the two. And especially when they have two farther apart in age (having three under five is fun, but hard too). I am envious of the moms who don't even need to carry diaper bags because their little ones are all out of diapers and weaned off bottles.
I think I manage three pretty well. There's no doubt I am outnumbered. I have more kids than I have hands and that can be scary at times. Luckily I have a double stroller for the mall or even just a single stroller for Jameson. He is starting to get anxious in it though and even doesn't like to be held; he wants to get down and PLAY. Son, you can only crawl still and when you can walk I will put you down! And despite the fact that Serena has been a nightmare lately, to say the least, it's somewhat reassuring to know that she is not one to just take off and run away from me. None of my kids have ever been like that; I have a friend who DOES have a daughter with that kind of personality and I have seen how scary it can be.
I try to appreciate the moment. I try to sing that country song that tells me "you're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days, hadn't gone by so fast". And yes, maybe it's true. But it is so hard to appreciate the little moments in life as they are actually happening. To appreciate the poopy diapers, the night wakings, the tantrums, the going it alone. One day it won't be like this and I'll look back nostagically and think "was it really THAT bad?" I think that's why women keep having babies. We get a little touch of amnesia and convince ourselves that childbirth, having a newborn, changing diapers, potty training, discipling...wasn't really THAT bad. It's a good thing too or the human race just might die out.
My point...my point is forgotten as it usually is when I start writing. I have three kids. I am not a saint. I am not deserving of any awards or special recognition and I sure as hell don't want a medal for raising my own kids (except for from my own kids one day. I expect lots of thank yous and money for my hard work). But I do think that I do a fair job with what I have been given. Sometimes I lose sight of things as the days drag on, but I look at those moms of two and think you know, I wouldn't have my life any other way. And you know what? Maybe they should be jealous of me. :)
Terrible Twos
Missing: 23.5 month old girlHair: Blonde
Eyes: Blue
Height: 34 inches
Weight: 25 pounds
HELP! Someone has taken my sweet, angelic, shy little Serena Camille. She was last seen about a week ago. She laughed. She smiled. She gave hugs and kisses. She was sweet as pie. And now she has been replaced by an imposter!
She whines, she cries, she throws huge fits. She never laughs and never smiles. She doesn't eat very much and doesn't sleep very well. It's like someone flipped a switch and changed her personality. Seriously, I want the old Serena back!! I know I am going to have to learn how to adjust, but she seems like a whole new person now and not one that I particularly like. Of course I love her, but I am going to have to figure out a way to like her. This is all new territory for me. Calli never had the terrible twos. I know that sounds like a lie, but two was a really great age for her. She learned a lot, we had fun conversations and she was just generally a joy. Yes she had her moments, but nothing like Serena is now. Calli didn't start getting difficult until she was nearly three, so I have always counted on the terrible threes. But along came Serena and in her quest to be as exactly opposite of her sister as she can, she throws me for a loop. She was my easy baby who didn't cry much and slept through the night from a very early age. Now she cries and doesn't sleep. What is up with that? Calli on the other hand was an extremely difficult newborn, but turned into an easier toddler.
Jameson, oh Jameson what will you be like?
So...if anyone has seen the old, orginal Serena, please send her my way and tell her that Mommy and Daddy miss her!
It's amazing what a little exercise can do...
As most of you know, I have been working very hard in the last few months. Physically, I am in (arguably) the best shape of my life. Right before I got pregnant with Calli I started going to the gym. I had gained a few pounds and had gotten up to a size four (I know you are crying for me) and wanted to get in better shape. Well after a week of going, that stick turned blue and, well, you know the rest! I lost half the pregnancy weight I had gained right away, but twenty pounds still hung on, mostly thanks to breastfeeding. Anyone who tells you that it helps you lose weight IS LYING. After I was done with that ten pounds fell off in a month and that left me with ten more to conquer. Unfortunately I was not motivated and never went to the gym. I didn't diet at all and it's a wonder that I didn't gain a whole bunch more weight. I wasn't really happy with my body, but I had bigger things to worry about and honestly I was a size six and felt a little silly being unhappy with that.
Two years passed and I got pregnant with Serena. I gained even more weight with her pregnancy than I did with Calli's and was very serious about getting it off. We joined a gym soon after I got the go ahead to start working out again. I went about it probably not in the best way: eating very little and working out 3-4 times a week. Five months post partum I was down to my pre-Serena weight, but alas, I somehow got pregnant again! All that hard work out the window!
Now, after having three kids and knowing that there were no more in the foreseeable future, I WAS DETERMINED to get that weight off once and for all. We still belonged to the Y and when I was able to work out again, I went four times a week. I built myself up to burning 500-700 calories on the cardio equipment every time I went. I am proud to say that it took just three months to get back into my pre-Serena/Jameson pants and to that weight. But as you know, I had those ten pesky pounds to get rid of still. They say that those ones are truly the hardest and it did take the longest. If I had gotten into running sooner then it might not have taken so long. By the time I did get into running in the beginning of November I had just five more pounds to lose. But now I knew that five pounds was so attainable and why not go for ten? Better yet, fifteen or twenty? I was at a healthy weight for my height, but it was at the middle of that range and I knew it could be lower. I never had any aspirations of being underweight or anything like that. It's just a very powerful feeling to know that you are in control of something and I finally felt in control of my weight. That last five pounds came off quickly after I started running, followed by almost ten more. If you are keeping track, that is twenty pounds under my pre-Serena/Jameson weight and ten pounds under my pre-Calli weight.
I know I'm bragging, but it's really hard not to pat myself on the back. I have worked damn hard to get back to where I am. It wasn't always easy and there are lots of days that I would rather just veg out on the couch instead of go for a run. But when I finish those five miles and realize it only took me fifty minutes to burn nearly 600 calories, I feel good about myself. And after that I know I can sit on the couch with my feet up eating a few girl scout cookies and not feel guilty. I don't diet. I eat sweets every day. I actually even eat MORE now than I used to. I've learned that in order to lose weight your body does need more calories than you think.
I am very proud of our active lifestyle. Above all, I feel happy that Richard and I are setting such good examples of health for our kids. They will see us exercising and it will be completely normal to them and they will know that's how it should be. Calli already has been playing soccer and doing dance for years now so she is very active for her age I think. Serena doesn't have long before she'll be doing all these things as well.
We were watching a new show on ABC the other night, Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. He is taking on the most obese city in the nation and fighting to change the food in the schools and in families. Seeing what school lunches look like nowadays makes me kind of sick. Of course, they weren't much better back when I went, but my parents packed the majority of my lunches to bring to school, which I'll be doing for my own kids. The really disturbing thing was seeing what people eat in their homes. There was one family who deep fried every meal they ate. Really? The thought just sounds gross. I never thought of myself as a healthy cook and never thought that the meals that I make are really that healthy, but my opinion has changed. I serve a vegetable of some kind with EVERY meal I make. I use whole wheat pastas and breads when I can and lots of lean meats. My kids eat fruit every day with their lunch. Calli is starting to get to the point where she wants sweets every day (thanks to kids in her preschool who have dessert after lunch!) but I am trying to be lenient with that and realize that I'm balancing it with healthy foods so sweets in moderation is okay.
If we all made small changes to our diet and lifestyle we could have a big effect on the state of this country. 32% of US children are overweight. THIRTY TWO PERCENT. In five years, it's predicted that SEVENTY FIVE PERCENT of Americans will be overweight. Wow. I know how hard it is to make changes. To get in there and get motivated and begin a workout program or healthier eating styles. But once you do it, it gets easier and easier and you feel so proud of yourself. And it becomes just part of your routine and part of your life. This is how it has been for me and I hope to be able to continue this in the years to come. I am glad to have found running as an outlet. Not only will it keep me in great shape, but it's time that I get for myself away from the kids and responsibilities. It's something I can take pride in and it's fairly cheap. I don't need a gym membership to hit the pavement; I can find running trails and paths anywhere. I can simply run around on my neighborhood sidewalks, which I do often.
So all that being said, here is what eight months of hard work looks like! I don't know that I will be getting into a bikini anytime soon, but I don't think I look too shabby for a mom of three!
Two years passed and I got pregnant with Serena. I gained even more weight with her pregnancy than I did with Calli's and was very serious about getting it off. We joined a gym soon after I got the go ahead to start working out again. I went about it probably not in the best way: eating very little and working out 3-4 times a week. Five months post partum I was down to my pre-Serena weight, but alas, I somehow got pregnant again! All that hard work out the window!
Now, after having three kids and knowing that there were no more in the foreseeable future, I WAS DETERMINED to get that weight off once and for all. We still belonged to the Y and when I was able to work out again, I went four times a week. I built myself up to burning 500-700 calories on the cardio equipment every time I went. I am proud to say that it took just three months to get back into my pre-Serena/Jameson pants and to that weight. But as you know, I had those ten pesky pounds to get rid of still. They say that those ones are truly the hardest and it did take the longest. If I had gotten into running sooner then it might not have taken so long. By the time I did get into running in the beginning of November I had just five more pounds to lose. But now I knew that five pounds was so attainable and why not go for ten? Better yet, fifteen or twenty? I was at a healthy weight for my height, but it was at the middle of that range and I knew it could be lower. I never had any aspirations of being underweight or anything like that. It's just a very powerful feeling to know that you are in control of something and I finally felt in control of my weight. That last five pounds came off quickly after I started running, followed by almost ten more. If you are keeping track, that is twenty pounds under my pre-Serena/Jameson weight and ten pounds under my pre-Calli weight.
I know I'm bragging, but it's really hard not to pat myself on the back. I have worked damn hard to get back to where I am. It wasn't always easy and there are lots of days that I would rather just veg out on the couch instead of go for a run. But when I finish those five miles and realize it only took me fifty minutes to burn nearly 600 calories, I feel good about myself. And after that I know I can sit on the couch with my feet up eating a few girl scout cookies and not feel guilty. I don't diet. I eat sweets every day. I actually even eat MORE now than I used to. I've learned that in order to lose weight your body does need more calories than you think.
I am very proud of our active lifestyle. Above all, I feel happy that Richard and I are setting such good examples of health for our kids. They will see us exercising and it will be completely normal to them and they will know that's how it should be. Calli already has been playing soccer and doing dance for years now so she is very active for her age I think. Serena doesn't have long before she'll be doing all these things as well.
We were watching a new show on ABC the other night, Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. He is taking on the most obese city in the nation and fighting to change the food in the schools and in families. Seeing what school lunches look like nowadays makes me kind of sick. Of course, they weren't much better back when I went, but my parents packed the majority of my lunches to bring to school, which I'll be doing for my own kids. The really disturbing thing was seeing what people eat in their homes. There was one family who deep fried every meal they ate. Really? The thought just sounds gross. I never thought of myself as a healthy cook and never thought that the meals that I make are really that healthy, but my opinion has changed. I serve a vegetable of some kind with EVERY meal I make. I use whole wheat pastas and breads when I can and lots of lean meats. My kids eat fruit every day with their lunch. Calli is starting to get to the point where she wants sweets every day (thanks to kids in her preschool who have dessert after lunch!) but I am trying to be lenient with that and realize that I'm balancing it with healthy foods so sweets in moderation is okay.
If we all made small changes to our diet and lifestyle we could have a big effect on the state of this country. 32% of US children are overweight. THIRTY TWO PERCENT. In five years, it's predicted that SEVENTY FIVE PERCENT of Americans will be overweight. Wow. I know how hard it is to make changes. To get in there and get motivated and begin a workout program or healthier eating styles. But once you do it, it gets easier and easier and you feel so proud of yourself. And it becomes just part of your routine and part of your life. This is how it has been for me and I hope to be able to continue this in the years to come. I am glad to have found running as an outlet. Not only will it keep me in great shape, but it's time that I get for myself away from the kids and responsibilities. It's something I can take pride in and it's fairly cheap. I don't need a gym membership to hit the pavement; I can find running trails and paths anywhere. I can simply run around on my neighborhood sidewalks, which I do often.
So all that being said, here is what eight months of hard work looks like! I don't know that I will be getting into a bikini anytime soon, but I don't think I look too shabby for a mom of three!
Just Call Me Suzy Homemaker!
I got this princess cookbook at the bookstore a few months back and had forgotten all about it until the other day.
I pulled it out of the cupboard and flipped through it, trying to find a recipe that called for ingredients that I already had on hand. I finally settled on banana bread cupcakes and even had the option chocolate chips to add. I told Calli what I wanted to do so she ran and grabbed her dress-up chef outfit, complete with chef's hat that wouldn't stay on her head. She also got her stool so she could reach the counter to help me add the ingredients to the bowl. I measured everything out and she poured. Once it was all put together she got to stir it.
She needed Mom's help after awhile though!
And this was our end result! The picture in the book had flowers on top of the muffins and Calli really wanted some on ours too. Unfortunately I have a black thumb, so there's no flower garden in our yard! Then I thought about the weeds and told Calli she could go out back and pick some of those to decorate. We added some powdered sugar on top and voila! I am not really a huge banana bread fan so I had only a small piece of this before it was confirmed that yes, I do in fact hate banana bread. Calli loved it however and had hers AND Serena's (she must share my banana bread hating gene).
While the bread was baking I flipped through the cookbook to the drinks section and decided to make marshmellow smoothies. I combined frozen strawberries and blueberries, milk, and vanilla ice cream in the blender. Then I stirred in some marshmellows and put some on top to decorate also. By this point Serena was up from her nap and wanted one too! So here are the girls enjoying their snacks.
I pulled it out of the cupboard and flipped through it, trying to find a recipe that called for ingredients that I already had on hand. I finally settled on banana bread cupcakes and even had the option chocolate chips to add. I told Calli what I wanted to do so she ran and grabbed her dress-up chef outfit, complete with chef's hat that wouldn't stay on her head. She also got her stool so she could reach the counter to help me add the ingredients to the bowl. I measured everything out and she poured. Once it was all put together she got to stir it. She needed Mom's help after awhile though! And this was our end result! The picture in the book had flowers on top of the muffins and Calli really wanted some on ours too. Unfortunately I have a black thumb, so there's no flower garden in our yard! Then I thought about the weeds and told Calli she could go out back and pick some of those to decorate. We added some powdered sugar on top and voila! I am not really a huge banana bread fan so I had only a small piece of this before it was confirmed that yes, I do in fact hate banana bread. Calli loved it however and had hers AND Serena's (she must share my banana bread hating gene). While the bread was baking I flipped through the cookbook to the drinks section and decided to make marshmellow smoothies. I combined frozen strawberries and blueberries, milk, and vanilla ice cream in the blender. Then I stirred in some marshmellows and put some on top to decorate also. By this point Serena was up from her nap and wanted one too! So here are the girls enjoying their snacks. Monday, March 22, 2010
10 and 11
Well I haven't blogged in awhile, oops! So this means that enough time has passed that I've completed both my ten and eleven mile long runs.
Ten miles went well. It was my first venture into the double digit mileage and I was really nervous. I wasn't sure if I was going to take my usual route or just stay in the neighborhood, but by the time I got to the end of my first mile, which also happens to be the end of my neighborhood, I decided to keep going. My first five miles or so were really easy and I was feeling good. I had taken a gel before I left, but I didn't feel like I needed another one yet and I really like being able to run naturally. At seven miles I was back in my neighborhood and starting to get tired. I don't know if it's being so close to home and realizing I'm not done yet, but I always seem to get more tired as I enter my subdivision. I decided to take a gel to get me through the last few miles and I was glad I did. I was very tired and my feet were aching when I finished, but I did it! Ten miles!
So yesterday my task was eleven miles. As I get up there in the mileage, one more doesn't seem like a big deal each week so I was nervous before my run, but I also knew I could do it. This day for some reason I didn't feel like leaving my comfort zone, so I stayed in my neighborhood. It was COLD (around 30 degrees when I set out) and the wind was starting to pick up and the thought of those big hills I usually conquer seemed too much. So I decided that was okay, I would just run where I wanted to go and stayed in my neighborhood. I had also taken a gel before leaving for this run and didn't take another one the whole time. I really didn't feel like I needed one and just didn't want to deal with eating it. Could I have run a little faster if I had taken one? Maybe. But I am really trying not to be preoccupied with time on these long runs; I just focus on finishing. I always have a loose goal time in mind and most of the time I meet it or end up around it. I finished the eleven miles in about two hours (two hours and two minutes I think was the exact time). I am starting to get a feel for what my half time will be. My goal has always been 2.5 hours and seeing that I could finish the eleven miles in two hours gives me thirty minutes for the last two miles and change. I know I can do that! I am also really glad I have decided to train up to 12 miles instead of the ten that the program suggests. It promises that "inspiration will carry you the last three miles". But I say that inspiration isn't going to carry me anywhere and I better be prepared. So next week I add my last mile and then I will run the full 13 for the first time on race day. I didn't want to train up to 13 because I really did want to run it for the first time during my race.
Just three more weeks! I can't believe it is getting so close. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was sitting in my chair getting my hair done and my hair stylist was telling me how she was going to run a half marathon. That was the first seed that was planted in my head about it. Even though I couldn't even run a mile at that point. Even though I hated running. I still wondered if I couldn't run 13.1 of them. After training myself up to running three miles five times a week I decided I could do it and signed up. That way there was no going back because I had already paid my money. I had my doubts along this journey as to whether or not I could really run 13.1 miles. My injury back in January was especially disheartening because I really did wonder if I would be able to run again. I struggled during the middle weeks when I was running seven and eight miles as my long runs. I remember feeling so tired after those runs and wondering how in the world I could almost double that mileage for my race? But I stuck with it and kept going and found my rhythm. Now I am here talking about my "short" runs of five miles and how they are so easy. Never in my life did I think that running five miles would be easy! I am so proud of how far I have come and all I have accomplished. I can't wait for my race!
Ten miles went well. It was my first venture into the double digit mileage and I was really nervous. I wasn't sure if I was going to take my usual route or just stay in the neighborhood, but by the time I got to the end of my first mile, which also happens to be the end of my neighborhood, I decided to keep going. My first five miles or so were really easy and I was feeling good. I had taken a gel before I left, but I didn't feel like I needed another one yet and I really like being able to run naturally. At seven miles I was back in my neighborhood and starting to get tired. I don't know if it's being so close to home and realizing I'm not done yet, but I always seem to get more tired as I enter my subdivision. I decided to take a gel to get me through the last few miles and I was glad I did. I was very tired and my feet were aching when I finished, but I did it! Ten miles!
So yesterday my task was eleven miles. As I get up there in the mileage, one more doesn't seem like a big deal each week so I was nervous before my run, but I also knew I could do it. This day for some reason I didn't feel like leaving my comfort zone, so I stayed in my neighborhood. It was COLD (around 30 degrees when I set out) and the wind was starting to pick up and the thought of those big hills I usually conquer seemed too much. So I decided that was okay, I would just run where I wanted to go and stayed in my neighborhood. I had also taken a gel before leaving for this run and didn't take another one the whole time. I really didn't feel like I needed one and just didn't want to deal with eating it. Could I have run a little faster if I had taken one? Maybe. But I am really trying not to be preoccupied with time on these long runs; I just focus on finishing. I always have a loose goal time in mind and most of the time I meet it or end up around it. I finished the eleven miles in about two hours (two hours and two minutes I think was the exact time). I am starting to get a feel for what my half time will be. My goal has always been 2.5 hours and seeing that I could finish the eleven miles in two hours gives me thirty minutes for the last two miles and change. I know I can do that! I am also really glad I have decided to train up to 12 miles instead of the ten that the program suggests. It promises that "inspiration will carry you the last three miles". But I say that inspiration isn't going to carry me anywhere and I better be prepared. So next week I add my last mile and then I will run the full 13 for the first time on race day. I didn't want to train up to 13 because I really did want to run it for the first time during my race.
Just three more weeks! I can't believe it is getting so close. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was sitting in my chair getting my hair done and my hair stylist was telling me how she was going to run a half marathon. That was the first seed that was planted in my head about it. Even though I couldn't even run a mile at that point. Even though I hated running. I still wondered if I couldn't run 13.1 of them. After training myself up to running three miles five times a week I decided I could do it and signed up. That way there was no going back because I had already paid my money. I had my doubts along this journey as to whether or not I could really run 13.1 miles. My injury back in January was especially disheartening because I really did wonder if I would be able to run again. I struggled during the middle weeks when I was running seven and eight miles as my long runs. I remember feeling so tired after those runs and wondering how in the world I could almost double that mileage for my race? But I stuck with it and kept going and found my rhythm. Now I am here talking about my "short" runs of five miles and how they are so easy. Never in my life did I think that running five miles would be easy! I am so proud of how far I have come and all I have accomplished. I can't wait for my race!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Serena Feeding Jameson
Serena has been really into helping lately. She really wanted to feed her baby brother and I knew it would be a mess, but it was so cute!
(Please ignore the whining child in the background. She isn't very good at waiting her turn!).
Jameson Fun!
Here's Jameson having fun and exploring (Calli and Serena make an appearance toward the end of the video). I am currently wondering what happened to my happy and sweet baby boy who is in the throes of cutting two teeth! I am absolutely sure it is teething this time as we had his well-check visit last week and the doctor said he could tell that two teeth were getting ready to come through on the top. Sure enough, a few days later Jameson became super cranky and I haven't figured out how to flip the switch back to happy. I suppose I will just have to wait until the teeth break the gums for him to get some relief. In the meantime baby Motrin is my friend!!
McDonalds Karaoke
A McDonalds closeby does a kids' karaoke day every Sunday from 12-4. They set up a karaoke machine in the play area and if the kids get up and sing they get a coupon for a free ice cream cone. We went there for the first time last weekend and I thought Calli would be nervous to get up there and sing but she sure proved me wrong! Immediately when we walked in and sat down the previous singer was finishing up and the woman in charge asked who wanted to sing next. Calli's hand shot up as she bounced out of her seat and started walking over to the karaoke machine. Of course she wanted to sing Hannah Montana, so here she is doing her best! She sang a total of 5-6 times and had a blast!
Calli's Soccer Game 3.13.10
Here are some snippets from Calli's soccer game this morning. It was our second game of the season and my team did awesome! I have six returning players from the fall season and four new players, one of whom has an amazing natural talent. There were six teams in the fall season and there are ten teams this season which means there are four new teams with all completely new players never having played before. This presents an unfair advantage on our part when we play these new teams as I saw today when we dominated the game on both fields. I always feel bad, but really what can you do?
I am so proud of all my players and so happy to see their improvement since last season. As their coach I get to take a little pride in their achievements and some credit, right?!? ;)
(Please excuse the blurry shots, the crying baby in the background and the very short video clips. Richard takes the videos and it's very hard for him to do when he has to manage two young kids).
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Through a runner's eyes
Richard says that I see the world through a runner's eyes now and I think he's right. I completed a nine mile run today and feel so good about myself. Yesterday I went to the sports store to stock up on some GU and possibly get some new clothes. I saw that there was rain in the forecast for Sunday and that prompted me to examine my running clothing. Most, if not all, of what I own is made for warm temperatures; I have lots of shorts, tank tops and short sleeve tech ts. I hate to run in pants, but I will run in capris and unfortunately my yoga capris are a) all the wrong material for rain and b) way too big! I was thrilled to find some dry fit pants at Academy for $2.88!!! I tried them on and everything and they fit well and didn't seem to fall off. I had my doubts; after all, how great of quality can $2 pants be? I also bought a dry fit long sleeve shirt. I was SO glad I bought these items and they really worked out well. I felt a lot cooler and lighter running because the clothes don't soak up the sweat like regular cotton does. What a difference that makes! I knew if it rained on me and I didn't have these clothes I would be really hating life!
I woke up tired and unmotivated to run, but I knew I had no choice. I dressed in my new clothes, which gave me a little happiness (as new clothes always do!), but I was having trouble shaking the sleep from my eyes. I ate a small bagel, got my iPod, GU, running pack and watch together and stepped outside. I checked the forecast and saw that if I could keep the run under two hours I *should* be fine and not get rained on. It was cloudy out and not particularly cold luckily; I think it's pretty much the perfect running weather. I took a similar route that I had taken on my long eight mile run two weeks back, but this time I went farther. I conquered more hills and ate more GU along the way to keep up my energy. I ran almost to the soccer fields that Calli plays at, which turned out to be about three and a half miles and then turned around to head back. There is one big hill in particular that is on my route home that I always dread. And in fact before I went up it I decided to run some circles around a park to avoid it. I finally realized I had put it off long enough and just did it. I felt like the Little Engine That Could: I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. I kept telling myself that I could do it and that I WAS doing it. Reaching the top of tough hills is so gratifying and I recovered pretty quickly.
I was at nearly seven miles when I made it back to my house, just two more miles to go. This is where it always gets sticky for me and I am ready for the run to be over. But once I reach that two miles to go and then get UNDER it I tell myself I have one mile and some change. My running is so mental for me and I have to give myself pep talks as I go. Finally I made my final laps around the neighborhood and ended at nine miles in front of my home. I finished in about 1:40 and was sooooo glad to be done! The rain had held off miraculously and I was just starting to feel a few sprinkles on my final quarter mile. I faced some minor winds that tried to push me back, but I charged through! I wasn't as tired as I had been at the end of my race last week, but I was tired nonetheless and am glad that I have a week before I have to do TEN miles. I burned 1,000 calories on this run!!
So now I see the world from the perspective of us runners and bikers and it is not a very friendly one. There are very, very, very few bike paths here and not very much in the way of shoulders or sidewalks to run on. I can't say I would feel safe running on the shoulder of a road anyway because people here tend to use them as lanes (what is up with that anyway??). So my plea for San Antonio is this: make it a more running/biking friendly city! It is one of the leading cities for obesity and the lack of exercise friendly amenities make me see part of the reason why. If we had more, maybe people would get off their lazy behinds and go for a walk or a bike ride? Just a theory. Stop building the fast food chains on every corner and put in a bike lane or two!! Or a sidewalk for me to run on. As much as I enjoy where they break off and I have to run on the uneven grass or the street with NO shoulder, I would like MORE. I know, I know: write my congressman right?
So it was a good run that capped off a tumultuous running week for me. I had ups and downs and hope to be back to running four times next week and enter into the double digit mileage next weekend. I'm scared, but excited. Wish me luck!
Friday, March 5, 2010
Keep on truckin'
I have a nine mile run on Sunday and I am getting nervous. But this might be a good thing since I think I tend to run better with nerves. After my 8.5 mile trail race (which I finished in 1:53 and some change for all your curious readers) I rested Monday. I had scheduled a three mile run for Tuesday but decided to err on the side of caution and let my body rest for another day. When I take too much time off from running, it's hard to get back into it and that's what I think I'm facing now. The week of my race (last week) I only ran three days as well. I ran Tuesday and Wednesday and skipped my Thursday run and thought that three days of rest before a race sounded good. Then I did that eight miles on Sunday and took two days off. So by the time Wednesday evening rolled around, I hadn't really run out on the road in a week. I was nervous that I might not even be able to finish my five miles, but I did and I felt good and completed it in a decent time (51.5 minutes). My five mile outdoor run time has improved by four minutes over the last month, which I'm very proud of. It shows me that I am making progress in that department. As hard as I try not to worry about my pace and just run, I can't. That's just not who I am. I want to finish the race, but I also want to do well and finish in a time I can be proud of.
Thursdays are difficult because we have soccer practice from 6:30-7:30. By the time I get home and would be able to get out the door to run it would be well after 8pm. I really hate running in the dark and the later the run, the more nervous I am. Of course, maybe this works in my favor and I push myself to run faster so I can just be done? I'm looking forward to the time change when I'll get another hour of daylight in the evening. Of course, I'm not looking forward to the summer nights here when it's still 95 degrees at 8pm at night, but I will tackle that issue when it comes. So my point is........I didn't get out and run last night. Not only was it late and dark but it was windy and cold and Grey's Anatomy was on and I just had no motivation. I would go to the gym in the morning, I promised myself.
So I dressed the kids and myself for the gym this morning and set off. The girls and I went to Mommy and Me yoga first, which was a lot of fun. I could tell during the class that I felt tired. Nonetheless, I had set a five mile goal and wanted to do it. After yoga was over I took the girls to the daycare and hopped on a treadmill. The limit was fifty minutes and I was happy because I could do five miles in fifty minutes. But things did not start out well and when I passed one mile I was really tired. By the time I got to two I was seriously dragging. I told myself just four miles would be good, but I had to stop at three. I just wasn't feeling it today. And that is what makes me nervous for a nine mile run on Sunday. I keep telling myself that it will be better for me to get outside and run rather than do it on the treadmill and maybe that's what dragged me down. Also, I think sometimes runners just have days where it's not going to work and I need to accept that. My body wasn't on the same page as my mind this morning. At least I got in three miles though, that definitely counts for something. My goal for next week is to be back up to running four times a week. I have two five mile runs, a three mile run and a TEN MILER next weekend. I am getting soclose to my half marathon, I can taste it. I get butterflies in my stomach thinking about it. There is just something about your first race. I know races that I do in the future will be exciting too, but not in the same way. This is a feat that I have never before accomplished and to do so will be something new. I can't wait! Just one more month!
Elmo, Sleet and Chuck E Cheese
A few weekends ago we went to Borders for their storytime and celebration of Elmo's birthday. We are huge Elmo fans here so I marked my calendar for this event a few weeks prior to it taking place. It turned out to be a really great way to spend an hour. First the kids got to color a birthday card for Elmo. Then they were read a story and sang some songs. They got to color some more pictures and then did a raffle (we didn't win anything...better luck next time!). The best part was when they handed out CUPCAKES. I got a VANILLA one for Serena because I knew chocolate would be a huge mistake. Calli chose a chocolate one for herself of course. And at the very end they handed out goody bags that included a book, stickers and candy. And the best part was that everything was FREE. I love Borders!! I wish we had one near our house instead of the Barnes and Noble. Oh well, someday!
I take the kids to a fun playplace close by a few times a month. I met up with my mom's group there on this particular trip. At one point I spotted Calli and Serena playing air hockey together so of course that turned into a photo op.
We have some CRAZY CRAZY weather here (did I mention crazy?). They say Texas is the bipolar state. They say if you don't like the weather here, wait five minutes and it will change (this does not apply for the months May through September). Anyway, two weeks ago we had an ice storm come through one day. I was crossing my fingers for snow, but we just got some lame sleet. Calli was in preschool and Jameson was napping, so I bundled Serena up and took her outside to play for a few minutes.
You can see the ice coming down a little better in this photo
And here is Jameson on the first day he started pulling up. The couch is now his best friend. He is lucky he is so tall, it won't be long before he can climb right on it.
And of course the dreaded stairs present a problem. He can get up on the first step usually. Didn't I JUST put that gate away when Serena mastered the stairs??
Jameson loves this toy now that he can pull up. He is also better at sitting up so he can sit and play with it.
Here's a shot of his head. I know what you are thinking. "Lady, you are crazy, his head looks round!!" Trust me, it looks different in person. There's kind of a bump on the top left side where it hasn't rounded out completely. Just trust me when I tell you that in person, it looks worse. And you can see that bulge in his forehead on the left side and his ears are out of alignment. Yes, we are sooo much better from where we started, but we're not there yet.
I am the keeper of the gate and thou shalt not enter!
Serena, Jameson and I went to Chuck E Cheese when Calli was at preschool on Thursday (shhhh, don't tell her!!). My mom's group was having a meet up there and it was really fun. It is so nice to go during the week, especially when it first opens. It is very clean first thing in the morning, we were the only ones there for the first hour or so and best of all, there are tons of free tickets!! One of the employees goes around playing all the games to make sure they work and then leaves the tickets in each of them for the lucky first customers to have. Score!! Serena had so much fun and I was able to just sit at a table with Jameson and my friends while she ran around and played. This bike was her favorite thing to do and she spent lots of tokens there!
And so we keep going
Jameson is scheduled to have his helmet off in about two weeks, but the more I think about it, the more unsure I am. Originally, his appointment was yesterday, but they had to reschedule to next week. I accidently chose a time that conflicted with Calli's dance class so it got pushed back another week again to the 16th. I just don't think we're ready to get the helmet off. He has made amazing progress in his head shape, but we're not completely there yet. As we near the end of treatment I am having to come to terms with the fact that his head is never going to be perfectly symetrical (a hard truth for a perfectionist to grasp!). I knew this from the beginning, yet I didn't KNOW it. I hadn't seen what 2-3mm assymetry still looked like and I thought that anything would be an improvement over the 14mm he started out at. And while that is true and his head is much improved, I don't want to have any regrets. He doesn't mind wearing the helmet, we already have the thing, we might as well keep going. There is such a small window to be able to fix his head and once we're done, we're done. I can't change my mind in a month because he will have outgrown the helmet. I can't change my mind when he's sixteen years old and ask me why his head is lopsided because it won't be growing anymore. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but so what? It's his head we're talking about; it's the first thing you notice about a person. And while we're lucky and he doesn't really have any facial assymetries that a lot of plagio or brachy kids have, I still want to get as close to normal as possible.
When curiousity gets the best of me I google plagiocephaly in adults and find many stories about grown men and women (men more than women because they can't hide behind the long hair) who are comtemplating expensive surgery to fix their head shape. I never ever ever want my son to be one of those stories. And I never want him to feel embarrassed over something as silly as the shape of his head when it is easily fixable.
We saw the pediatrician the other day for his nine month check-up (23.5 pounds and 31.5 inches put him in the 85th and way over 100th percentiles, respectively) and he told me to trust my instincts. The last time we were there for a well-check visit he also praised me for trusting my instincts in having Jameson helmeted. So again, he told me to go with my gut and that if I felt we weren't done, then to keep going. He saw that Jameson's head has room for improvement still and really, what's another month in his long, long life? I am anxious to say goodbye to the helmet, but I also want to make sure that we let it do the job it is supposed to do COMPLETELY.
And so we keep going. We won't keep it on forever, but I see him in it for another month, as long as his pediatric neurosurgeon approves it. He goes back to her in three weeks so we shall see then. It's not affecting his development in the least and we see how quickly our little boy is growing up. Just this last week he has started pulling to stand. For the first two days he could only get as far as his knees, but now he quickly gets to his feet and loves to stand. It won't be long now before he is cruising the furniture and then WALKING. How happy he will be when he can finally join in playing with his big sisters. He definitely will not break Serena's walking record (she took her first steps at about nine months, one week), but I am thinking by eleven months we'll have some steps. I have yet to have a baby fail to walk before his or her first birthday so don't break the pattern Jameson!!
Speaking of birthdays, we have exactly one month until our Serena girl turns two! Her birthday falls on Easter this year so we'll have to think of something very special to do. I am thinking a celebration at Chuck E Cheese the next day perhaps? I am also thinking her theme will be cats and dogs because she just adores animals. Now I have to find a good cake pan for that! We have some big birthdays this year, with Serena entering the "terrible twos", Calli turning FIVE and Jameson celebrating his first birthday. I love making their birthdays special so that means I need to start planning now. Should be a fun few months in store for us!
Monday, March 1, 2010
That which does not kill us...
I woke up at 6:45am (or should I say I was woken up at this time by my morning-loving children who clearly do not share my DNA). I dressed, gathered my things and left the house for my race by 7:30am. I was still very early, arriving about an hour before the 9am start time. Of course I had left my phone at home so I didn't even have that distraction in the car while I waited for the minutes to tick by. At 8:30am I finally got out and headed to the start area to get my CHIP and use the restroom (there's nothing cool about being in the middle of a race and having to use the restroom). I walked around, tried to warm up my muscles and keep my body warm in the 45 degree temperature. I had goose pimples on my legs because I refuse to run in pants and I knew I would warm up during the run.
The countdown began and we were off. The first mile was a warm up on paved roads taking us to the trail; then we entered the woods. The path was narrow and filled with rocks, the number of which multiplied the farther we went. Pretty soon I was jumping over fallen tree limbs, climbing over fallen tree trunks and rolling my ankles when I stepped in the wrong place, which was often. "This race trail is like nothing you have ever seen...you won't believe you're in San Antonio!" the race description promised me. Well, yes this heavily treed and very pretty area didn't remind me of San Antonio in the least, but there was no time to "enjoy the scenery" as it foretold. I could only focus on the ground and each of my steps to make sure I didn't fall or twist my ankle. There were many points where I had to stop and hike up rocks to continue on the path. After three miles I gave up trying to keep my pace where I wanted it and just focused on not falling. The work was grueling and my effort output was multiplied by ten times the normal amount used for a road race. I had never trained for this or experienced anything like this in my whole life! The thought of a "trail race" conjured images of dirt trails through a wooded area; this reality was just crazy to me! Why would a runner willingly put themselves at risk to break their legs trying to complete this trail? If I had only known, I wouldn't have done it.
Around Mile 5 I had my doubts. I had finally come to the realization that there wasn't going to be any "getting easier" part of the course like I kept convincing myself. So I walked. I thought about quitting. I felt like a huge failure. I wished a coyote, a mountain lion, a wolf, a bear, ANYTHING would appear in my path and end my misery (okay, maybe I exaggerate a little!). I passed the second water station at Mile 5.5 and stopped to take my GU and some water. I prayed that the GU would give me the strength to make it until the end, but I didn't have confidence. I reached 6.25 miles and realized I had under two miles to go, but I had to walk again. I JUST COULDN'T DO IT. I had nothing left. I picked it up and ran to 7.15 miles and stopped again. A woman passed me and said "we're almost there". I realized she was right, we were so close, just another mile. I felt defeated and beaten and felt like I had no strength or willpower to finish. But I forced myself to start jogging again, despite the pain in my feet, the aching in my knees, the fatigue in every bone in my body and the voice in my head that told me I couldn't. Finally, FINALLY I broke free of the trees and was on paved roads again, the same way we had come into the woods. My watch told me I was already at 8.10 miles and I knew I still had another quarter mile to go at least. I came around the final turn to face a huge hill standing between me and the finish line. WHY?? I saw my family waiting for me at the top. I slowly jogged up but had to walk. I didn't want them to see me like that and I didn't want to walk across the finish line so I conjured every piece of strength I had in me and forced myself to run all the way. I crossed the line, completely devoid of feeling or emotion when minutes earlier out on that trail I just wanted to cry. During the run I felt embarrassed. I kept thinking I wouldn't talk about this experience and wouldn't tell anyone about it because I was so embarrassed. I was mad too. I was angry that this was even a race on such a terrible running trail. But once I reached the finish I wasn't ashamed of myself. In fact, I was proud of myself. I hadn't set any records, not even close. But I completed an eight and a half mile race that just may have been the hardest thing I've done in my life. I've given birth to three children, gone through three labors and deliveries and THIS was the most physically challenging thing I've ever done. I keep thinking that maybe that's a good thing and maybe it will make the half marathon, set on PAVED ROADS, seem easier.
These experiences in life are great teaching tools. I learned about the kind of person I am and what I am capable of. Maybe someone else looks at what I did and thinks "who cares?". After all, if the top finisher in the race can run the course in a time of 58 minutes, how hard could it be? But we all have different strengths and weaknesses. One man's mile is another's marathon. And one woman's eight mile race is another's one hundred. I am proud of myself.
It only makes me stronger.
The countdown began and we were off. The first mile was a warm up on paved roads taking us to the trail; then we entered the woods. The path was narrow and filled with rocks, the number of which multiplied the farther we went. Pretty soon I was jumping over fallen tree limbs, climbing over fallen tree trunks and rolling my ankles when I stepped in the wrong place, which was often. "This race trail is like nothing you have ever seen...you won't believe you're in San Antonio!" the race description promised me. Well, yes this heavily treed and very pretty area didn't remind me of San Antonio in the least, but there was no time to "enjoy the scenery" as it foretold. I could only focus on the ground and each of my steps to make sure I didn't fall or twist my ankle. There were many points where I had to stop and hike up rocks to continue on the path. After three miles I gave up trying to keep my pace where I wanted it and just focused on not falling. The work was grueling and my effort output was multiplied by ten times the normal amount used for a road race. I had never trained for this or experienced anything like this in my whole life! The thought of a "trail race" conjured images of dirt trails through a wooded area; this reality was just crazy to me! Why would a runner willingly put themselves at risk to break their legs trying to complete this trail? If I had only known, I wouldn't have done it.
Around Mile 5 I had my doubts. I had finally come to the realization that there wasn't going to be any "getting easier" part of the course like I kept convincing myself. So I walked. I thought about quitting. I felt like a huge failure. I wished a coyote, a mountain lion, a wolf, a bear, ANYTHING would appear in my path and end my misery (okay, maybe I exaggerate a little!). I passed the second water station at Mile 5.5 and stopped to take my GU and some water. I prayed that the GU would give me the strength to make it until the end, but I didn't have confidence. I reached 6.25 miles and realized I had under two miles to go, but I had to walk again. I JUST COULDN'T DO IT. I had nothing left. I picked it up and ran to 7.15 miles and stopped again. A woman passed me and said "we're almost there". I realized she was right, we were so close, just another mile. I felt defeated and beaten and felt like I had no strength or willpower to finish. But I forced myself to start jogging again, despite the pain in my feet, the aching in my knees, the fatigue in every bone in my body and the voice in my head that told me I couldn't. Finally, FINALLY I broke free of the trees and was on paved roads again, the same way we had come into the woods. My watch told me I was already at 8.10 miles and I knew I still had another quarter mile to go at least. I came around the final turn to face a huge hill standing between me and the finish line. WHY?? I saw my family waiting for me at the top. I slowly jogged up but had to walk. I didn't want them to see me like that and I didn't want to walk across the finish line so I conjured every piece of strength I had in me and forced myself to run all the way. I crossed the line, completely devoid of feeling or emotion when minutes earlier out on that trail I just wanted to cry. During the run I felt embarrassed. I kept thinking I wouldn't talk about this experience and wouldn't tell anyone about it because I was so embarrassed. I was mad too. I was angry that this was even a race on such a terrible running trail. But once I reached the finish I wasn't ashamed of myself. In fact, I was proud of myself. I hadn't set any records, not even close. But I completed an eight and a half mile race that just may have been the hardest thing I've done in my life. I've given birth to three children, gone through three labors and deliveries and THIS was the most physically challenging thing I've ever done. I keep thinking that maybe that's a good thing and maybe it will make the half marathon, set on PAVED ROADS, seem easier.
These experiences in life are great teaching tools. I learned about the kind of person I am and what I am capable of. Maybe someone else looks at what I did and thinks "who cares?". After all, if the top finisher in the race can run the course in a time of 58 minutes, how hard could it be? But we all have different strengths and weaknesses. One man's mile is another's marathon. And one woman's eight mile race is another's one hundred. I am proud of myself.
It only makes me stronger.
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