Baby Jameson is Here!!

It all started Tuesday morning at 5am. I woke up that early to call the L&D at the hospital to make sure they had a bed available to induce me. A part of me was hoping they would say "no sorry, call back later to check!" But alas, I was told to come on in at my scheduled time of 6am. I called my friend who was coming over to watch the girls to let her know and Richard and I began to get ready for BABY DAY.

When we got to the hospital I checked in and had a tiny bit of paperwork to fill out before they put me in my room. My nurse came in next and I answered what seemed to be an endless string of questions. I will never understand why exactly they make you preregister at the hospital when they take an hour going over everything you have already told them anyway. It makes no sense to me. Anyhow, I was anxious just to get started. Finally she checked me to see where we were starting and couldn't quite tell, but thought I was at 1-2cm like at my last OB appointment. My doctor arrived shortly after and checked me herself and announced that I was 3-4cm and 75% effaced! This was great news because it meant I was more favorable for the induction. She broke my water after that and there was no turning back; one way or another we were going to have a baby in the next twelve hours!

My nurse started my pitocin drip right after that and it took a bit for the contractions to start. They became regular pretty quickly though and I think I managed the pain pretty well. I knew I wanted an epidural and my doctor had left instructions that I could have one any time. But I had wanted to wait as long as possible because I was scared of it waring off before the pushing part! Finally though they had turned up the pitocin and my contractions were three minutes apart. The Price is Right was a good distraction, but even that couldn't help with the pain so I opted for the epidural at this time. We happened to be the very first to page the anesthesiologist so he came right away. This being my third delivery, I knew exactly what to expect. But the thing is, every epidural is different because every anesthesiologist doses differently. For some reason, I just did not like this epidural all that well and it was too much. I couldn't feel the contractions at all, which was great, but my legs became much too numb for my liking. For some reason, it just really bothered me! It was also around this point that I started feeling nauseas so my nurse gave me phenergen in my IV, which I had before with Calli. I knew it would make me VERY tired and sure enough, it did. I was 5cm dilated after I got the epidural and I drifted in and out of sleep for the next couple of hours. Unfortunately the medicine did not make me feel any better. I remember being partially asleep and feeling a lot of pressure, but not wanting to wake up. Finally I told myself that I should probably wake up before the baby just comes out of me (yeah like it is that easy!). I called the nurse and sure enough I was at 9cm. I was still exhausted and at that point wondering how I was going to muster enough energy to push! It was a really terrible feeling because I also still felt nauseas.

Around 3:30pm my nurse came in with her replacement (her shift was ending at 4pm) and they both agreed I really didn't look well (my lips were very gray and face was pale she would later tell me). I was given Zofran to ease the nausea and this medicine actually worked. Wow, I felt SO much better after that! I also started to wake up more, which was a good thing because I would be needing a lot of energy. I remember saying that I forgot how much work it was to push! The nurse called my doctor, whose office was just across the street (there is an underground tunnel connecting the building she works at to the hospital actually!) and told her I was ready. My doctor said to wait just a bit so she could finish up at the office and come over! I guess she was lucky I had an epidural and actually had a choice over the matter. That part still makes me mad thinking about it. Anyhow, finally she got there and I had pushed for about an hour total maybe.
Jameson Robert Ratcliff came in the world at 4:56PM. My doctor suctioned out his nose and mouth and placed him on my chest, where we just looked at each other. He was so beautiful and I had been waiting for that moment for so long. I couldn't believe I was finally meeting my baby, seeing what he looked like after all this time! And also seeing, one hundred percent without a doubt, that he did not have Down syndrome. I had known that from the amniocentesis results all those months ago, but in the back of my mind I still wondered if it could be wrong. I knew reassurance wouldn't come until I saw my baby with my own eyes. He was adorable and a big baby. In fact, he weighed exactly the same as Serena when she was born; 8 pounds, 7 ounces. He was half an inch taller at 21 inches, but we think he may have been even taller than that. He looks so long and skinny, where Serena looked chunky all over so I wonder how they could have been the same weight and height practically?? He had a small amount of brown hair on his head, which I was glad because I was afraid he was going to be bald! He had beautiful blue eyes and eyebrows so blonde they were hardly noticeable. His fingers and toes were long and it looked like he needed a manicure already! His Apgars were 8 and 9 and he looked so great, so healthy.
I wanted to leave him on my chest there forever, just looking at him, bonding with him. But I was so curious how much he weighed and how long he was so after a bit I told them to go ahead and take him and bundle him up. They did their thing and wrapped him up and gave him to Richard to hold. It was my turn next! Then it was off to the nursery for all the little things they had to do there. Finally it was all over! Nine months (longer!) of pregnancy ending in an induction and a beautiful baby. But really, it is not so much an ending but a beginning. After all, the whole point of being pregnant is to bring a child into the world.

I was very tired and oddly enough, famished! After each of my other births I felt extremely nauseas and couldn't keep anything down. But I think thanks to the Zofran I was feeling okay. I was tired, but I knew I would get rest soon enough. Richard went to the food court to get McDonalds for us and we ate there while waiting for my recovery room to be ready. They had said it was ready right after I had delivered but for some reason it was taking an incredibly long time for them to actually put me in it. Richard was anxious to get home to the kids and wanted to try and be there to put them to bed. Finally around 8pm he ended up leaving, only minutes before they came and wheeled me to my room upstairs.

It was so nice to be in the recovery unit and I was looking forward to getting the feeling back in my legs. As I said, the numbness in my legs was just not agreeing with me. Not ten minutes after being in my room, I was waiting for my nurse to come in. I heard a knock on the door, but instead of seeing a nurse come in it was my pediatrician. I was taken aback, as it was 8:00 at night and I figured he wouldn't be looking in on Jameson until the next day! Now, I had previously been seeing another pediatrician that I wasn't too happy with so before Jameson was born I decided to switch. I took the recommendation of a wonderful friend and my doctor also spoke highly of this particular pediatrician. So I knew my kids would be in good hands; I just didn't know how good of hands they would be in yet! Anyhow, he came into my room and told me that he had just seen Jameson. I don't remember the next part very well, but he told me that he had noticed some blue around my baby's lips and decided to test his oxygen levels. They like to see levels at 95% or higher and Jameson's were in the low 90s and dropping into the 80s. So they hooked him up to some oxygen and took him to the NICU. The doctor mentioned a number of things this could mean and the only one I could even remember him mentioning was pneumonia. He had also heard a faint heart murmur so he was going to take a look at his heart too. I found this so bizarre as we had two Level II ultrasounds in my pregnancy, one of them specifically to look for problems in his heart. I know that his heart was very, very tiny at that point, but it still seemed weird to me that something would suddenly pop up later.

So there I was, alone in my room just recovering from childbirth and told that my brand new baby son was in the NICU. It was a scary time to say the least. My nurse came in shortly after and assured me that she would give me updates as soon as she could. I called Richard to tell him the news, but all we could do was wait. I didn't have to wait too long luckily to hear something. The NICU doctor assigned to him came to my room shortly after to explain things and answer questions. I thought this was great that he took the time and made sure to get to me as quickly as possible. He said he had taken a chest x-ray of Jameson and it looked very hazy, meaning he had a lot of fluid in his lungs. They thought he may have swallowed some fluid in utero and this could also have affected his oxygen supply. Something else that was so bizarre during delivery was that Jameson was born with a knot in his umbilical cord! Knots can happen when a baby moves around in the womb and tangles the cord up. But a knot usually results in cutting off the oxygen supply to the baby and all kinds of problems. This knot managed to just be a knot and it didn't cut off his oxygen by some miracle! I remember the nurse being so amazed by it and she wanted to show us what it looked like (it was really neat, given the fact that it hadn't affected him at all). Well now I was concerned that maybe it HAD affected him, but the doctor assured me that it didn't have anything to do with that.

I called Richard again to tell him the news, I called my parents, but still I sat alone just wondering what to do. I couldn't even get up and see my baby because my legs were still numb. All I could do was wait. Finally around 2am I felt well enough to stand and walk and my nurse wheeled me down to the NICU to see Jameson, whom I hadn't even seen since he was born nine hours before! He was in a bed in the back, which I thought was kind of nice and private. He had the tubing on his nose around his face to give him some oxygen (for the life of me I cannot remember the name of it!). He also had an IV for antibiotics, which they wanted to start just in case his condition turned out to require them. It was better for him just to have them than wait until an official diagnosis, which would put him in the hospital even longer. There was no harm in starting them and I was glad they did! He had other various wires attached to monitor his heartrate and blood pressure and other things. It just wasn't a great way to see your newborn baby, just hours old. I wasn't even sure what to do. Could I hold him, feed him? Yes, I could do pretty much anything, including changing his poopy diapers or taking his temperature.

Seeing him made me feel better and worse at the same time. I hated seeing him hooked up to all the wires, but at the same time, just seeing him was reassuring. I went back to my room to try and get some rest, which anyone who has had a baby knows how hard that is!! That first night they come and take your vitals every two hours, your nurse is constantly in there checking on you and it is just not a restful period. The next morning brought a steady stream of visitors from various places: the representative from the cord blood donation center (Jameson's cord blood was so much that it will probably be enough to save TWO lives), the lactation consultant, the insurance representative, the birth certificate recorder, and so on and so forth. By the time I got a shower (heavenly!) and was able to make it down to the NICU to see Jameson it was nearly noon. I fell into a routine of seeing him each feeding during the day. I tried to nurse a couple times, but my milk wasn't in so mostly I ended up giving him bottles and just being with him.
That afternoon Richard brought the girls to come see me. I think one of the hardest things has been that they can't even see their new baby brother. Calli was so anxious to hold him and feed him and didn't understand why she couldn't. We tried to explain as best we could that baby brother was sick and needed to be in a special place with medicine. But I know it is still hard for her to process. They didn't stay too long and left soon after bringing me dinner (hospital food is GREAT!). I had a friend stop by that evening also which was nice. Having visitors was good because I felt very lonely. Richard had to be with the girls and I didn't even have my baby by my side.

When I went down to see Jameson that night he was still doing well, but started to need more oxygen. They ended up turning his flow up more while I was there. But the good news from the nurse was her telling me that neither her nor the day nurse had heard a murmur all day in Jameson's heart! I got a bit more rest that night, as they weren't in to check my vitals quite so often. I was in the NICU for Jameson's first feeding and was able to speak to the doctor at that time since he was there. He said that it was a little odd to see Jameson doing worse the night before and that based on his lab work, the fluid in the lungs and his oxygen levels he was going to diagnose him with pneumonia. He made it clear that it is very hard to tell one hundred percent if a baby has this or not, but it is better to just go ahead and treat them for it. This brought the news that Jameson wouldn't just be staying an extra day or two in the hospital, but instead would be in the NICU a total of 7-10 days getting a full round of antibiotics. The doctor also wanted to do an echo on his heart and make sure everything was okay there. This was probably the worst day for me hearing all that. It was hard knowing that I would be leaving the hospital later that day and not having my baby until much later.

Even though I could have been discharged at any point during that day I decided to stay as late as possible to see Jameson as much as I could. Although they did need beds for the incoming deliveries, they said that NICU mommies are special and they make exceptions for us since we'll be leaving our babies behind soon. Richard finally came to pick me up around 5pm or so and we made the journey home one carseat short. Leaving the hospital was so strange without a new baby in tow. We knew that he was getting the best care possible and that he was going to be fine, but leaving him was still hard. He was supposed to be in my arms and I was supposed to be waking up all night long to feed him. Instead I am getting full nights of sleep and seeing him just once a day.

The most updated news is that Jameson is doing fantastic! His echo on his heart came back clear so no problems there! He is officially off all oxygen and is just in the hospital getting the antibiotics. He has been moved from the NICU to the IMC (Intermediate Care) to finish those off. It is still part of the NICU but isn't quite as heavily monitored. And even despite that he was in the NICU he was still what everyone called a "healthy NICU baby". I almost felt bad seeing him in there next to all the much sicker and tinier babies. It didn't feel right. Anyhow, we are just waiting for Monday's labs which will tell us if Jameson has to have seven or ten days of antibiotics. If his lungs are looking less inflammed then he will get to come home on Tuesday evening. If things look a bit bad still then he will be given the full ten days antibiotics. I am anxious to hear what it will be, but thankful that he is in good hands and getting healthier every day. It is so bizarre to hear that your baby has pneumonia. When I think of that sickness I picture an adult laid up in bed feeling sick. So I can only imagine what a baby would feel like, but apparently that is not the case. Jameson looks fine, he eats like a champ and has great color. Typically they worry about the pneumonia being a problem in the premature babies whose lungs aren't fully developed. Luckily Jameson was born at 41 weeks so no chance of underdeveloped lungs!!

I won't lie: things are hard! Life feels a little strange at the moment. I am not pregnant, but I don't have a baby with me at the moment. Things are slowly going back to normal, but what is normal? Normal right now was supposed to be a family of five at home. Instead we've had to rearrange our schedules and lives to allow us to visit our new baby in the hospital. I try and go in the morning and Richard goes at night when the kids go to sleep. We are both looking forward to the day we bring our sweet little boy home where he belongs! I feel like my baby doesn't even know who I am. I can see him once a day for just a few hours and that isn't enough. That is probably the hardest part: not being there enough. If it was our first baby, if we had relatives to help out......

But we don't. So Richard and I can't even go to the hospital at the same time. I don't mean to start a pity party for myself, but I am a little bummed out. I try and look at all the silver linings and am really just thankful that Jameson will be okay above anything else. But it is hard to stay positive. He wasn't supposed to enter the world with so much suffering, being stuck with IVs and having blood taken each day, hooked up to various machines to monitor him. It just seems unfair. Of course, in a month we will be looking back at this time and it will seem so short. But for now it is going by entirely too slow. We just want our family to be complete!

Baby Jameson, just minutes after he was born

Daddy and Jameson
Mommy and my little boy!

The three of us

Jameson in the NICU

Mommy and Jameson, three days old

Jameson in his basinett. I love the name tag they made for him!