Happy Mother's Day!

Being a Mom is hard.  It doesn't start out easy and it doesn't get any easier as they age.  From the time we see those two pink lines on the positive pregnancy test, life as we know it has changed.  Suddenly there is a new fear and worry instilled inside our minds that will never go away.  We go through nine months of pregnancy trying to eat all the right things and stay away from all the bad things.  We spend the first year of their life worrying about SIDS, worrying about every little thing that could go wrong.  We spend the next few years worrying about their well being and hoping we are making the right decisions that will shape them into good people someday.  We spend the school years worrying about all the time they are spending away from us and hoping we made the right decision to let them explore the world on their own (we did).  We spend the teenage years worrying about them driving without us, breaking curfew, getting bad grades.  And even when they become adults, the worry will never end.  I envision my children leaving me someday, deciding to follow their military spouse to a tiny island on the other side of the world and I wonder how I will feel.  Heartbroken, most likely.  Families seem to go in so many different directions these days, moving to different states and countries and it makes me sad.  I make Calli promise me that she will live down the street someday when she gets older.  I want to find that good balance: I want my children to grow up and be independent and not live in my basement forever, but I don't want them to go too far.  Eighteen years is not enough.  Is there ever enough time in the world?  It seems like with each child I've had the days have shortened.  When Calli was an infant I used to sit around the house and be immensly bored.  Sure there was the task of nursing her every two hours like clockwork, but I counted the minutes until Richard got home from work.  Now two kids later, I don't have time to count the minutes; before I know it the clock is hitting 4:00pm and Richard is walking through the door and I realize there are dishes in the sink I haven't had a chance to get to.  That trip to the grocery store I needed to make never got done.  And that pile of clean laundry?  Still sitting in the laundry basket in my room waiting to be put away.  Just getting four people ready in the morning eats two hours of time.

Being a mom is hard.  We don't get paid time off.  We don't get vacations and even if we did, we'd spend the whole time worrying about our kids.  I consider it a vacation if I can sleep from 10pm to 5am without waking up (this is becoming more and more of a reality which I am extremely grateful for!).  There is always work to be done.  There is always another load of laundry to put in or dishes to do or a mess to sweep up on the kitchen floor.  Don't even bother picking up the toys during the day because with three kids, they will inevitably end up back on the floor in 6.7 seconds.

Being a mom is hard.  We always wonder if we are doing a good enough job.  Am I shaping my kids into good people?  Am I instilling good morals and values that will last a lifetime?  Am I teaching manners?  Numbers?  Letters?  Proper hygeine?  Is my kid smart enough, funny enough, athletic enough?  Is my kid too spoiled?  Do they get enough exercise and sleep?  Questions that I will not know the answers to for a very long time.

Richard and I are blessed to have wonderful mothers who love and care about us and who raised us right.  A lot of who I am, I owe to my mother.  I wish I could put into words the thanks I feel, but I hope she can feel it, especially when she sees me with my own children.  What do you say to the person who gave you life and who made extreme sacrifices in their own life every day to make sure that you were taken care of?  Thank you sure doesn't seem to cut it.

So Happy Mother's Day to my mom, my mother-in-law, my grandmothers watching over me, Richard's grandmothers and all my Mommy friends who keep me sane and I don't know what I would do without!  And thank you to my children for making me a mother and pushing me to be the best one I can be.