Adventures with the Ratcliff Family: Happy 1st Birthday Jameson Robert!

Today (at 4:56pm to be exact) my baby turns one. Where do I even start when it comes to him? The last two years have flown by so fast and it doesn't seem possible that we're already celebrating the end of his first year of life.

He is my baby that wasn't even supposed to be, but I don't know what I would do without. He is my baby I got pregnant with when my other baby was five months old. I remember being so scared when I got the positive test. How could I ever raise three kids with two of them being just a year apart? That just wasn't in our plans: at least that's what I thought. We would never be able to fit in our small house, we would never be able to get through it without outside help. But we did. The things we actually CAN do when we think we can't.

He is my baby that was supposed to have Down syndrome. I know, I know: he doesn't so it's kind of a moot point. But can I just say how scary that week two Decembers ago was? Scary isn't even a strong enough word for my feelings at the time. Here we were with a three year old, an eight month old and then a baby with Down syndrome. How would I be able to do that? I didn't feel strong enough and it turned out that I didn't have to be. Against all the odds and numbers that were thrown at me (a 1/3 chance) he was fine.

So for me, celebrating his birthday reminds me of things that could have been and things that weren't supposed to be. It reminds me that I am not the one in ultimate control of my life and we don't do things on MY timeline. As the weeks started winding down last year, I got nervous. Having a newborn is difficult enough without having two other kids, one of them still a baby herself. I always told myself if I could make it through the first month or two, I was gold. That's when you start getting a routine down and babies start sleeping better. Well, we had the routine part down, but the sleeping not so much. I don't know how I functioned when, at five months old, Jameson was still waking up twice a night for a bottle. It felt like I had endured endless sleep deprivation and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. To make things worse, he needed the helmet right around that time. Now that I think of it, that's also when I took up running and I think that gave me more energy.

This has been quite an eventful year, moreso than any other first year I've had with a baby. Jameson decided, like his sisters, that he didn't want to come out on his due date last year. I wasn't meant to have my April, May, June babies, which was a little disappointing if I'm being honest! So he was evicted, eight days later and I endured a fairly easy labor and delivery. I remember laying eyes on my little boy for the first time. I got to see once and for all that he didn't have Down syndrome. I got to hold him for a bit, which is time that always goes by way too quickly. It is the part I always look most forward to about having a baby. There is nothing in the world like holding your son or daughter in your arms for the first time, when they are seconds old. It is all too fleeting a moment and you can never recreate it.

Finally they took him away to the nursery for all the routine exams and handprinting and whatever else they do. I was wheeled to my recovery room around 8pm and Richard went home to be with the girls. I was taken by surprise when our pediatrician knocked on my door not long after I got to my room. Jameson's oxygen levels were a little low and he had a heart murmur. I remember not even being able to fully digest this information. It was a busy day to say the least and I was exhausted (to say the least) so my head was a bit fuzzy. Jameson had to go to the NICU, which sounded scary at the time because it was where the sick babies went and I had just given birth to a healthy baby: I saw that much with my own eyes!

It was a much different hospital experience than I had with my girls. I was recovering from delivery, but didn't have a baby at my side. Instead of him being brought to my room, I had to go down to the NICU to see him. I had to learn my way around his wires and find a way to bond with him despite all the medical paraphenalia in the way. The following day he was diagnosed with pneumonia and put on a 7-10 day antibiotic treatment. I was discharged from the hospital with empty arms and went home to get a full night's sleep. That wasn't supposed to happen and it felt weird. We were a family of five, yet only four of us were home. The next week was a whirlwind of hospital visits and there is a well worn path from my driveway to Methodist Hospital.

When at last we were able to bring him home on June 12th, I reflected on how originally I thought that moment was going to come one month earlier. My original due date given to me was May 12th. It was switched the the 25th later on, then Jameson was eight days late and then had a ten day NICU stay on top of that. So there we were, a month later than orignally planned, bringing our baby home. Isn't life funny like that?

Jameson was a good baby and everyone adjusted well to having him in our family. Even Serena, who was a very clingy toddler and didn't understand exactly what was going on, welcomed her brother with kisses and hugs. The girls just doted on him and he seemed to enjoy their company as well. The months passed and I wasn't getting much sleep at night because he was a terrible sleeper! But he was so sweet and calm during the day that it *almost* made up for it. Before long, I realized that his contentment was leading to his flat head. He was happy just laying around and that was causing the side of his head to become flat.

So our next adventure with Jameson, as if the first wasn't enough, was the helmet. He wore this contraption for six months and never once complained. He adjusted to it way better than I gave him credit for and it helped immensly. His head assymetry was brought dowm from 14mm to 3mm. His brachycephaly was improved by 5%. His head isn't perfectly round now, but it's much better than where we started!

Our little boy has always been a BIG little boy. Born at 8 pounds 7 ounces, he wasn't huge, but he sure grew fast. By the time he was discharged from the hospital he was nearly a pound heavier. He ate four ounces every three hours from the time he was born. By his first check up at two weeks old he was already topping the charts and there he would stay throughout his first year. His weight began to dip into the 80th percentiles at his nine month appointment, but he is still a big boy. I think this has made him a little slower to hit his milestones than his sisters. Calli and Serena seemed to be in competition with each other; Serena had to do everything *just* before Calli did it. Calli rolled at three and a half months so Serena did it at three months. Calli crawled at six months so Serena did it at five. Calli took her first steps at nine and a half months so Serena did it at nine. Jameson seemed to be on his own schedule, which drove me crazy sometimes because I was always ready for him to do things before he was. I wanted him to mobile and play with his sisters, but he took longer to get the crawling thing down and when he finally did at six and a half months, it was only the army crawl. By eleven months when he hadn't taken any steps I was anxious. I had never had a baby not walking by their first birthday! But he surprised me and took his first steps (finally!) at eleven and a half months. Now he is walking more and more, putting 10-15 steps together before falling down. He is getting braver and braver to let go and make walking his preferred way of movement rather than crawling. We purchased his first pair of shoes over the weekend, cool Spiderman ones that he is still getting used to having on his feet.

It has been one amazing, eventful, busy and fun year with our little boy. He has made us so happy and I feel so blessed to have such a sweet, adorable and healthy son. If only he could stop growing so fast...

Welcome to the world Baby Jameson Robert! Born at 4:56pm on June 2nd, weighing 8 pounds, 7 ounces and 21 inches long.