Dreams

I wish I was able to choose the things I dream about.  Wouldn't it be nice if we could be guaranteed to have nothing but sweet dreams every night?  Unfortunately it doesn't work like that.  I woke up shaken this morning after having a terrible dream involving one of my children.  All I wanted to do was go into her room and hold her, despite the fact that she was still sleeping like an angel.  But I ended up staying put because I didn't want to wake her.

I despise these nightmares that I get, and I'm sure everyone gets, from time to time.  They seem so real when you are in them and you think your world has been shattered, only to wake up confused with relief that everything is actually okay.  It just reminds me that life is fragile and not to be taken for granted.  I think in a way I needed to have that dream last night.  Yesterday was a tough day, Mommy-wise.  I have good days and bad days, as does any parent.  Yesterday definitely was one of the harder ones.  I had little patience and understanding, so having this dream last night automatically made me wake up having more of those things.  All of a sudden all those little things seem so unimportant.  Does it really matter that Jameson dumped the crayon box out all over the kitchen floor for the zillionth time?  Is it that big of a deal that Serena didn't finish her applesauce at lunch?  Why do I care if Calli wanted to wear these shoes instead of those ones?  It doesn't, it isn't and I don't.

So this morning I feel a renewed sense of patience, understanding, love and above all, gratitude for the blessings I have been given.  I love my awesome, smart, adorable, cuddly, loving, naughty, mischevious, sneaky, beautiful children with all my heart.  They give me purpose in this crazy life and I am proud to be called their MOM...I just need a reminder of that every once in awhile.