We made the six hour drive (stopping for potty breaks and McDonalds along the way) up to Dallas on Saturday morning/afternoon directly after Calli's soccer game. The fantastic skyline came into view around 5:30pm and we drove directly to RunOn Dallas so I could pick up my racing packet. My number and a not very attractive shirt were all that was waiting for me (not the best goody bag I have seen!). After that we checked into our hotel room at the Hyatt and immediately went to find some dinner since it was getting late. I wanted some pasta so we went to Spaghetti Warehouse in downtown Dallas, which we have eaten at before on one of our trips. It is cheap and good and I made sure not to eat too much because I was scared of getting sick during the race.
When we got back to the hotel and put the kids to bed, the trouble began. My nerves started to kick in big time and I couldn't fall asleep. I think I finally fell into a fitful sleep around 10:30pm and woke up every 30-60 minutes. Around 2am Serena started coughing and that woke Jameson up, who also started coughing, then crying. After about an hour of trying to get him back to sleep we finally just brought him in our bed and he went right to sleep. By this time it was nearly 3:30 and I had to be up at 5am. My nerves were kicking in again and of course I couldn't fall back asleep. When the clock turned to 5:00 I was already awake. I quietly got up and got ready, managing to get dressed, brush my teeth and make toast without waking anyone. I walked out of the hotel into pitch blackness and started the short walk to the Doubletree across the freeway to meet the shuttle to the race. That came and took me to the Fairgrounds, which was the start and end of the race. I was among the first people there and it was only 6:30am so I had a lot of time to kill. I also had too much time to think and be nervous. I tried to eat a granola bar and made sure to use the bathroom a few times before the start. With five minutes to go I lined up around the finish line. It wasn't a huge race; there were probably around 3,000 people there for the half and full marathons.
Finally the time had come to begin my first race. The crowd started moving and I was toward the back, but it only took me about a minute to get across the start line. And I was off! My emotions and nerves were high. I tried to settle myself and concentrate on my long task ahead. I could feel that I was tired. How can anyone really have a good run on a few hours of broken sleep? I passed the first water station without taking anything, but felt I would stop at the next one. Around Mile 4 the half marathoners broke off from the full marathoners. The full took a course all the way around the lake, while the half just went along the bottom of it and met back up with the full around Mile 7-9 (I can't remember exactly). This is where the race started to get really pretty. The lake was very nice and I passed by a small waterfall that I thought would be perfect for picture taking! After we got past the lake we were running in a neighborhood. The houses were just amazing. I was in awe of them and it was kind of neat to see them and kept me distracted a little. The area was heavily treed and I couldn't believe that such a nice neighborhood existed downtown.
I can't remember exactly where I really started dragging, but it was all I could do to just keep running. I did walk whenever I came to a water station because I tried to run and drink at my very first race (the four miler) and it did not work! Water splashed all over me as maybe a drop got in my mouth. So I had already planned to walk when I came to a water station and this also allowed me to eat my GU quickly. It took everything I had to make myself run again after walking. It was painful, physically and emotionally to pick up that pace, but the only thing I can say is that I willed myself to do it. Finally, FINALLY the finish line was in sight. I mustered up every ounce of energy I had left to sprint (which was probably no more than a light jog at that point!) across it. I saw my family cheering me on, which lifted my spirits. My time was around 2:46, but at that moment all I could think of was how tired I was. Richard got me some water while I sat on the stairs. I thought I would be emotional crossing that finish line, but I was just numb. My feet hurt and my stomach ached. Every muscle in my body was throbbing and I'm pretty sure every bone had turned against me in rebellion of making them work so hard. But I had done it and that's about all I can say.
There were some hills, but nothing I hadn't already trained for. The weather was absolutely perfect for running. It was cloudy and overcast, no more than 60 degrees with a very light breeze. Could I have asked for better running weather?
So what's next? A part of me feels like maybe I am not cut out for running. The other part of me says that anyone can run, but maybe it should be strictly for fun and exercise and a way to stay in shape. And then another part of me (yes that's three parts!!) wants to take on a marathon in December. That is the crazy part of me and I'm trying to shut her down. I don't know that I'm ready. I hate HATE that I don't live in a running city. I hate that I live in a city that is so unbelievably hot in the summer that it will make running difficult. I am scouring all the running calendars trying to find races and there isn't much more than a 5k. What to do?
I know I should just be happy that I crossed that finish line and that I met my goal of finishing. But I wanted more and I let myself down. I won't lie: that hurts. It was something I wanted so badly, something I did just for me. I invested more hours than I can count, sacrificed the well being of my feet and generally trained my ass off and for what? This is not the way I was expecting to be feeling when all was said and done. The silver lining to running is that there is always another race. There is always a chance to redeem yourself and beat your time. But like I said, I can never get that first time back.
The lack of sleep I do believe played a part in it. I also believe that I tapered my runs too much. I had a few running aquaintances tell me to taper heavily before the race. I had never done a race before so what did I know? In my gut, I felt I shouldn't slow down that much, but I listened because they knew and I didn't. In the end, I do believe I should have listened to my intuition. Every person and every body is different. Maybe for some they do their best on fresh legs with two weeks of tapering. As for me, I think I run my best when I keep my endurance up. After all, I had done a twelve mile run two weeks before the race and finished in 2:20. That is not a record time by any means, but it gave me an indication that my goal of 2:30 would be attainable. There is no reason that the last 1.1 miles should have taken me 26 minutes. In the end, I can ask why? all I want, but I'll never really know. I'll try different things next time and see what works. Will there be a next time?
I sure hope so.
The kids waiting for me to finish
Crossing the finish line
After the race. Don't let this picture fool you: I was tired and only smiled for a second for the camera.
Me and the kids in front of a water fountain on the fairgrounds
1 comment:
Thanks for posting, I really enjoyed your most recent post. I think you should post more often, you obviously have natural ability for blogging!
by Air Jordan 4
Post a Comment