Mama's Little Boy

Jameson got ahold of my iPhone yesterday, which is not a rare occurance.  The boy has decided that he likes all things electronic lately, including my phone, camera and video camera.  I made the mistake of letting him have my camera once and now he thinks it is his.  But I digress.

After swipping my phone he managed to unlock the keys and turn my iPod on.  Before long there was music spilling from the tiny speakers and I had a little boy dancing to the tunes.  I love his moves; when he hears the music he immediately looks up at me with a huge smile and starts bouncing up and down without moving his feet.  It is one of the cutest things ever!!  So yesterday I decided to dance with him.  I picked him up and swung him around in circles, I did the "Jameson" (bouncing) and we held hands and had fun.  His laugh was real and infectious and I found myself flashing forward to a time in the distant future, which I'm sure will be here sooner than I want.  I saw us dancing at his wedding someday, his hands now bigger than mine, his face looking down at me instead of up and the silly baby bouncing gone from his step.  It's hard to imagine him growing up into a man, but he will someday no longer be my little boy.  He is mischievious and naughty as all get out, but he is all mine right now.  Someday I will have to share him with another woman and I'm sure it will be difficult.

For now I will just enjoy our impromptu dance sessions and games of chase as he runs around holding something he isn't supposed to have and I scramble to take it away.  He had his first haircut today and it seems like another step toward growing up.

I had trouble getting a good "before" shot.  He wanted to be behind the camera instead of in front of it and I have a terrible camera anyhow.  So getting the right photo was impossible and this was the best I could do.  His hair had become very wavy and stuck out on the sides and he had one long strand in the back that everyone always commented on.

 He wasn't very happy when the lady started cutting his hair!!  It was kind of funny though because he wasn't freaking out or becoming hysterical, he was just calmly crying.

 After awhile he decided it wasn't really so bad, especially since Yo Gabba Gabba was on the TV in front of him.

 And here is the finished product!!  It was still a little wet so it was hard to tell what it's going to look like, but I can see it looks much more polished.  He looks so grown up now!!

Life

The kids are fighting.  All of them.  Mostly just the older two though.  Fighting over everything.  One minute they are playing so sweetly and I smile with that feeling of pride and love for my beautiful little angels.  Then it's as if none of that ever happened and they are bickering so quickly it will make your head spin and your blood boil.  Why??

And the tattling, oh the tattling!!  Do they think I can't hear what is going on myself?

My (least) favorite phrase to hear to from the other room:  UH-OH!!  Hearing this phrase uttered means it is guaranteed that something just happened that shouldn't have happened.  And I should screw up every bit of patience and understanding I have left in my body to go see the damage.

Jameson has taken to pulling all the ornaments within his reach off of the Christmas tree.  He especially loves the ones shaped like balls because he thinks these are actual balls and will throw them around the room.  Can I take down the tree yet??  I'm so over the pine needles accumulating around the house, the ornaments being found in weird places and the tree being used for a toy.

Dear Serena: if I pour you a bowl of Lucky Charms and you eat only the marshmellows like I specifically told you not to do, I will not get you more cereal until the rest of it is gone as well.  Period.

The thing I probably dislike the most about the holidays?  All the candy, cookies and other sweets that accumulate.  Not only is it bad for me and my waistline, but I have to hear Calli beg for candy no less than thirty-six times a day.  I just managed to get the Halloween candy out of the house and now we will have a sufficient amount to last us until Valentine's Day, when our supply will no doubt be replenished.

No Jameson, you may not play with the gum, camera, phone, hand sanitizer, tape, coins, pens, glue stick, chapstick or any other item that comes out of the drawer you are not supposed to be in.

My house is covered in paper, most of it crumpled up and partly colored on.  Why?  Because the kids love to color and do it like their life depends on it.  We are singly handedly responsible for the demise of entire forests every year (come to think of it, maybe I should start planting some new trees to make up for it).  And God forbid you throw one of these precious drawings in the trash.  Now let me pause for a minute to tell you that I love my kids' artwork.  Calli draws fantastically well for her age and Serena is just now starting to draw those little egg people and it won't be long before she is drawing detailed pictures just like her sister.  She is going through the same stage that Calli did at that age: she colors a picture and then loves to fold it up (read: crumple) and gives it to the recipient.  And I don't dare throw things in the trash when she is awake because she will look in there to make sure I haven't tossed any of her priceless artwork.

I'm pretty sure I know what Jameson is getting for his birthday.  We bought two handheld game systems so the girls would not fight over playing and who is constantly stealing them from his sisters?  That would be Jameson of course!!  He doesn't really know how to play, but he thinks it's fun to poke the screen and pretend to play.  Apparently everything we buy needs to come in threes from now on out...

I'm sick and tired about stressing over everything in life.  I want to relax and enjoy the ride, but I'm standing in my own way.  There is never enough time in the day, never enough space in the house, never enough money in the checking account, never enough family nearby to see, never enough activities to get out of the house to do, just never enough.

However if you would like to hear kids arguing, crying, screaming  and terrorizing each other, come on over!! 

There's also love, lots and lots of love.  I do have plenty of that.

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I wrote that entire blog yesterday.  It's amazing to see the ups and downs there are in life and how things are different day to day.  I wasn't going to post it for all the world to see, but then I figured why not?  Being a mom (especially a stay-at-home-mom) isn't always rainbows and butterflies.  I loathe reading those blogs that talk about nothing but the positive aspects of it because let's face it; it isn't always happiness.  Sometimes it's downright hard.

They say that being a stay-at-home-mom is the hardest job.  If our pay was to be properly calculated we should be making upwards of three figures.  I am not one to debate the merits of staying home vs. working.  I think both of them have their challenges and it's not about one choice being better than the other.  I feel lucky to be able to stay at home with my kids, but it doesn't make it easy.  And then I wonder, why do I have the right to gripe and complain about it?  No one asked me to procreate.  No one told me I had to have three kids in four years.  No one told me I had to have kids period.  Why should I act put out and like I am doing something deserving of a medal?  All I am doing is a simple thing that women have been doing for years and years and years before me: raising my kids.  I kind of hate when people praise me for my job because I feel it's not really a job.  What am I doing besides fulfilling my own desires and the desires of my family that I chose to have?  I am not a hero, I am not a martyr or a saint or someone to look up to.  I am not a soldier or a nurse or a teacher or a police officer, those of whom make real differences in the lives of people everywhere; I am simply a mother trying to instill the same values, hopes and dreams in my kids as everyone else out there.  And some days I do wonder if it's enough.

So there you have it.  No, I'm not losing it, but I just wanted you to have a small peek of the downside because there are plenty.  To leave this post on a happy note, there are plenty of upsides.  Like hearing my children laugh, seeing their first steps, being on the receiving end of every hug and kiss, watching the joy on their faces as they ride their bikes...

I could really go on and on and on.  We have brought three beautiful, intelligent, sweet people into this world and no matter what, I am happy to be there every step of the way for their journey through life.

I feel somewhat more balanced today after having rid my house of Christmas decor and cleaned up all the pine needles and other messes around the house.  My linoleum is freshly mopped, the carpet vacuumed and the counters wiped down.  I'm sure the cleanliness will last all of, ohhhh, two days before it's back to it's usual state of disaray :).

Our Christmas in a (big) Nutshell

I think this was probably my favorite Christmas, in terms of the gifts that the kids received.  And we all know that is what Christmas is really about right?!?!  (Kidding).  Seriously though, there are only so many years that Santa can bring new bikes or that the kids can get handheld game systems.  And there's only so much longer that Calli will believe in the magic of Santa.  Thinking about her not believing makes me get a lump in my throat: I know that it's not something that is really important, but it certainly helps bring the Christmas spirit into the house.  Having all of your kids jumping up and down, excited to leave cookies and milk for Santa and see the gifts he leaves in the morning is just so special.  I know that even when she no longer believes we will still have two others, but it's not the same.  And it's just one more reminder that she is growing up.  I can't remember the ages that kids find out the truth, but I am sure our years are numbered!!

We cut down our tree when my dad was here visiting a couple weeks ago.  For a week it just sat in the living room corner undecorated and we finally went to work the following weekend.  It went very quickly and everyone pitched in, even the littlest ones.

 Christmas Eve started out blistery and wet, a change from the weather we had been accustomed to for the last month. I was happy for the cold though!!  We had our annual tradition of going to meet Santa at the mall on Christmas Eve. The mall was surprisingly quiet at 10am when we got there, which was nice, but bizarre. The line for Santa was just twenty minutes long or so and as I thought, Serena and Jameson were not fans. Richard and I ended up having to hold the little ones in the photo while Calli happily sat on Santa's lap. There has only been one year that she didn't like Santa and that was when she was eighteen-months-old. Every other year she has been a huge fan. Hopefully the others will come around someday too.


We walked around the mall for a bit and let the kids play in the play area as well. I had to find Christmas pjs for the kids still, way to leave it to the last minute!! I found some at Disney, after deliberating over them for way too long. We also got a Christmas ornament at a kiosk; one of the ones that you can have your names and the year written on it. I have decided that getting an ornament like that will be another yearly tradition.
We had lunch at Chick-Fil-A and Richard and I were able to fulfill our long suffering cravings for the peppermint ice cream that seems to be nonexistent here! Chick-Fil-A has these great peppermint chocolate chip shakes at the holidays and they are sooooo good. I am all about the peppermint during Christmastime.
We headed home after and Serena and Jameson were able to get naps. I decided to head back out to Toys R Us because the Leapster system and game I had bought Serena was 50% off that day!! Toys R Us said I could bring in my receipt for a price adjustment and so I decided to do just that. I saved $40!! I had to drive across town, but I ended up getting an awesome parking spot and walking right up to the customer service desk; the whole thing took about two minutes. When I walked back outside it had started raining and was quickly getting harder. On the drive over I had noticed the sky was literally black. It felt more like 5pm than 12pm and I knew it was only a matter of time. I was so lucky that I managed to get in and out without having to deal with the brunt of the storm. I did have to deal with it on the drive home however, and I always hate driving in that kind of rain. I can't see five feet in front of me and am driving as slow as I can. Meanwhile other people, who in normal weather can't figure out how to even get up to the speed limit, are zipping by me and it is truly scary. I made it home safe and sound and the rain had cleared up when I pulled back into the driveway.

 Calli was pretty much bouncing off the walls and driving us all a little nutty this whole day. She couldn't wait to open presents and was anxious for dinner to be over so she could open the one present we promised her she could. We always give pjs for Christmas Eve and although it's not very exciting, it's a fun tradition that they will appreciate more as they get older. I actually expected Calli to be a lot more disappointed by it than she was. She was pretty excited to see her new Princess Tiana pjs.

 Jameson was being extremely uncooperative!!

 But he did enjoy stealing my camera and taking many photos of the carpet, the cat, my socks, his socks, the fan, and once in awhile his face

 After the kids went to bed, Santa went to work!!  (S)he stuffed stockings and put together bikes and power wheels.  Calli's bike was the most challenging, but it all worked out and we couldn't wait to see the looks on the kids faces in the morning!!  Of course Christmas dawned bright and early in our house; around 6am to be exact.  I told Richard to hold them off until I got downstairs and ready with the video camera.  I literally just turned it on when Calli came bounding down the stairs and gasped in excitement.  They all dug right into their stockings and couldn't wait to move onto the big gifts.  Calli had already figured out that hers was a bike, but it was still fun to watch them all tear the wrapping paper down.  She wanted to quickly move onto the other presents, but I tried to slow things down because I knew we would be finished before 7am if we moved at that pace!!  I have to draw out the fun and magic as long as I can and relish it.

Jameson got this Mickey cell phone in his stocking.  Perhaps it will deter him from wanting Mommy's new phone??!!

 Jameson did not get a bike, but he did a Kawasaki power wheels.  He rode it around the house a little at first and seemed to love it.

 Here is this fabulous bike that I went to Toys R Us to get at 2am on Black Friday.  You are welcome Calli!!  It fits her perfectly.  It is an 18 inch bike; we had looked at the 16 inch ones and at the 20 inches.  The 20s didn't have training wheels so that was out and the 16s just looked like she would grow out of it too quickly.  The 18 was always perfect, but they aren't widely made for some reason.  We only have found a couple and we knew we wanted a Schwinn and it just all worked out.  She loves having a big bike now!

 Serena got a Minnie Mouse bike, the last one they had at Toys R Us on Black Friday and 40% off.  It was just meant to be!!  It is only a 10 inch and I would have preferred a 12, but I just could not pass it up.  It fits her well now and will last a good two years or so.  And it is MINNIE MOUSE.  Need I say more??

 Finally I let them tear into the presents and they sure made out...

 I got these dress ups at the Disney Store when all their Halloween costumes went on sale for 40% off.  Disney dress ups are the best quality and the best looking by far.  We have been saving them since October and I have been so excited to give them to my girls.  I think I am living a little vicariously through them because they just didn't make dress up clothes like this when I was a girl!!

Serena got Cinderella and Snow White

 And Calli got Tiana and Ariel.

 I had decided awhile ago that I wanted some kind of handheld game system for Calli.  Richard talks about a Wii a lot, but I am just not ready to have those video games in the house.  I was willing to get something handheld and educational and I knew Calli would love it.  There are several things on the market and I finally settled on the Leapster Explorer.  Then I realized that if Calli had one her and Serena would just fight over it and I would need TWO.   I decided to get a different model for Serena and it worked out perfectly.  They both love them and Serena is picking up on her games faster than I thought she would.  The only problem now is that Jameson gets his hands on them sometimes...looks like I know what he is getting for his birthday!!

 I had a bit of trouble coming up with good presents for Jameson, but I think I did surprisingly well.  We got him this Little Tykes basketball hoop and it will grow with him as he grows for a few years.  He already loves it and we're planning to put it out in the backyard sometime soon.  For now he plays in the living room and is getting good at making baskets.

 Jameson also got some monster trucks (I think??), hot wheel cars and a ramp/rollercoaster for the cars.  He got a great little toolbox from Grandpa Bob and Grandma Molly too.

One of Calli's absolute favorite gifts was her American Girl doll, Felicity.  I read the American Girl books as a child, back when there were just four girls.  Now it has really expanded and there are way too many to keep track of.  They still write the series of six books for a girl like they used to and they also do individual books for random girls.  The ones with the series of books have dolls and other fun things you can buy and the others don't.  Confusing I know!!  Anyway, Calli and I had been checking out the books from the library and she really liked them.  I told her about the dolls and how I used to have one when I was a little girl (I had Kirsten).  I ended up asking my mom if she still had that doll around; I thought maybe I could clean her off and regift her to Calli.  My mom said she didn't, but that they would love to buy one for Calli for Christmas.  Unfortunately they have retired Kirsten for some reason and are getting ready to retire Felicity.  My mom wanted to get her a Julie doll because Julie is from San Francisco (funny enough the author lives in Sebastopol, CA where my mom was born and raised), but we hadn't read those books yet.  And besides if Felicity was going away, I thought it made more sense to get her now.  AND she is a lot like Calli: a little sister and a little brother and very spirited.  I managed to drop hints before Christmas and convince Calli she wanted a Felicity doll (it really didn't take much work).  I couldn't wait for her open that gift and her reaction didn't disappoint.  She was thrilled and keeps Felicity with her all around the house.

The other very notable gift of the day was for Richard.  Should I get him an iPad, should I not??!!  Thanks to a very generous gift from his parents (who really deserve all the credit...after all, I basically just went to the store to get it!) I was able to buy it for him.  Unfortunately Calli was on Christmas break and I had to take that big mouth shopping with me.  She didn't know exactly what I was getting, which was GOOD.  I told her not to say anything to Daddy when he got home and to not even tell him there was a present for him and what does she do the minute he walks through the door?  "Daddy, we got you a present but it's a secret and I can't tell you!!"  Thanks, Calli!!  I think I did a pretty good job throwing Richard off for the next few days.  He kept talking about other e-readers and how he eventually wanted something.  I knew he would be surprised.  His gift was the last one to be opened and he was very taken aback, but happy with it.  So we all had a great Christmas!!

 After the last gift was open I started on breakfast.  I made blueberry muffins, croissants, potatoes o'brien, bacon, scrambled eggs with sausage and orange juice.  It was all so yummy and we were stuffed for hours.

 We spent the rest of the day outside riding bikes (where Serena and Jameson decided to switch).  Then we found out the Starbucks near us was open and I heard a peppermint mocha calling my name (remember my peppermint cravings around Christmas!??!).  We also went to Redbox to rent a family movie, Shrek Happily Ever After (I think that's what it's called?).  By the time we got home though, Serena and Jameson had fallen asleep so we ended up watching the family movie with just half the family.  After that I really wanted to watch Beauty and the Beast, which is my favorite Disney movie (and one of my favorite movies period) of all time!!  However, I was the only one who was really into it.  I tried to explain to my kids that this movie was like, the only animated movie ever to be nominated for best picture and one of the songs won the Academy Award (I think), but I don't think they truly appreciated the greatness of it.  Oh well.

All in all, we had a great day.  We wish we could have been celebrating with family over, as we saw lots of neighbors doing, but it is what it is.  We made the best of it and the kids had a fantastic holiday.  Now we (mostly me) look SO forward to the new year and all the changes it WILL bring.  Hope you all had a great Christmas and will have a happy New Years!!

Christmas Spirit

I have admittedly been having a tough time getting in the holiday spirit this year.  I think most people know that.  Saying it out loud makes me feel like a selfish, spoiled child.  I have three beautiful, healthy children, more presents under the tree than should be allowed and more blessings than I can count.  But for some inexplicable reason I just feel sort of apathetic about the holidays this year.  I always think of Christmas as a big family holiday.  Our traditions growing up were simple: Christmas Eve with one side of the family, Christmas Day with the other.  We had our own traditions in our immediate family and we spent time with extended family as well.  There was always lots of people, presents, food and memories.  When those are the things you are used to, having a simple, quiet Christmas with just my kids, my husband and myself feels abnormal.  I want to be a part of something big and exciting.  I want there to be lots of noise and celebration, lots of conversation and sharing, lots of family and laughter.  I know I will have these things, it will just be on a smaller scale.  I want to be able to be a part of each family member's Christmas and I want them to be a part of mine.  I want to see the faces of the recipients of our gifts as they open them, I want my kids to be able to share memories with their grandparents and I want to be able to do that myself.  I have learned in life that sometimes you have to let go of things and accept that some fun memories will always be just that: memories.  So I've let go of other holiday traditions with family, I've let go of having family around to help out in times of need, I've let go of the fact that we won't see them often.  But I just can't let go of my Christmas wishes and I don't want to.  Even when we lived half a world away we still were able to get back for the holidays and for years while we lived here we were able to get back.  But time passed, more kids were added to our family and plane ticket prices went up while my level of patience went down, making it impossible to be able to fly home for the holidays.  I thought it would be fun to start our own traditions and it has been: but I still like to be able to share the magic with family.  I like to be in California, where it feels more like Christmas to me.  Maybe it's the weather.  How in the world can a person feel the Christmas spirit when they are sweating in the heat and humidity in December?  Add to that the fact that we are suffering from allergies (this is probably the only place on the planet where the allergy count is off the charts in the winter) and I'm downright bah humbug about the whole season.

Okay, I am trying to focus on some positives.  There are some really fabulous presents sitting under our tree and more fantastic ones to be brought from Santa in two days.  The kids are going to love it.  This is the first year that all of my kids will be aware of what is going on on Christmas.  The last two years we were celebrating first Christmases with babies in the house and this year our youngest is eighteen-months-old and I honestly can't wait to see his face light up when he comes downstairs and sees what Santa has brought for him.  The girls are getting bikes from Santa, bikes that Santa worked hard to get, let me tell you!!  Santa went out to Toys R Us at 1AM on Black Friday to score these great deals on these adorable bikes.  Serena is getting a Minnie Mouse bike and Calli is getting a new 18" bike.  Just yesterday we were in Target and she randomly said to me "Mommy, I want a new bike, that is what I really want for Christmas".  I did a little happy dance inside because I know she will be beyond thrilled to see it under the tree on Christmas morning.  Jameson is getting a power wheels ride-on toy.  He loves the girls' Barbie jeep and we thought he needed something a little more manly and something that is just his.  Aside from those things we have many other great gifts under the tree waiting to be unwrapped, among them an American Girl Doll, basketball hoop for outdoors, Disney Store princess dress ups, Leapfrog game systems, Beauty and the Beast and some surprises that I don't even know what they are.  It is going to be a good Christmas for the kids, that is for sure.

I'm excited for that brief part of the day which is always over way too quickly.  The rest of the day will be filled with a big breakfast and lots of lazing around.

Next year.

Next year will be the year, I just know it.  Next Christmas I will be inviting you all to my home to celebrate with us.

I just know it.

Merry Christmas, from our family to yours!  Here are some photos from all the Christmas things we have been doing lately:

Christmas at Six Flags

 She is my only child who will sit on Santa's lap!

 Ice skating

 Snow!

 Christmas Parade in Boerne

 Santa and Mrs. Claus at Chik Fil A

 Cutting down our Christmas tree

Our annual Christmas photos.  We had them taken in old town Helotes and they turned out wonderful.  Our photographer was so nice and we have identical familes!  She has two older girls (a kindergartener and a three-year-old) and a little eighteen-month-old boy.  She is also from California (southern) and desperately wanting to settle down in Northern California. We made plans to get together after the holidays are over.  I'm pretty sure she's my long lost bff.

 This one is my favorite family shot.  I wish Serena was smiling, but that's the way it goes!!

 This is probably my favorite photo of the session