5:45am is a completely inappropriate time to wake up. I have tried to show you, morning after morning, that my feet don't hit the floor until 6:30am. You may as well go back to sleep (better yet, never wake up at that time in the first place!) or wait patiently and quietly until the clock hits 6:30am, when I will come rescue you from your jail. Believe it or not, you actually need sleep (so do I, but that is beside the point). Taking a two hour nap and then sleeping barely ten hours through the night does not qualify as enough beauty rest. I don't know how you function. I never had these problems with your sisters sleeping and neither of them tried to wake me up at the unGodly hour of 5:45am. The sun has not even woken so what in the world makes you think it is okay to rise? I am here to tell you that IT IS NOT OKAY. Maybe one of these days you will learn. There is no need to scream at me from your crib; I know you are in there and I am perfectly aware of what time it is. I am also aware that you are absolutely fine, unhurt and have a clean diaper. A little cooperation on this matter would be appreciated before Mommy completely loses her marbles. Don't get me wrong: I am grateful you go to bed early and don't wake up at midnight or some other God awful time like you used to (please don't let me jinx it!) but before 6am?? Really? I refuse to start bad sleep habits and let you think it's okay to wake up for the day before 6am. Yeah, I am a mean mom!
Dear Serena,
I know you are Miss Independent lately. After all, you are two-years-old and trying to assert yourself against your older sister and little brother. You want to find your place in the family and I get that. You are also trying to pass from baby/toddler to preschooler and that's a long and hard line to cross. You have mastered the art of putting on your socks and shoes, opening your fruit snack packet, even buckling part of your carseat. But remember, you are still a little girl and you will need help with things from time to time. There is no need to scream at me when I try to assist you in getting your shirt off or want to help you reach something up high. I love that you want to pick out your own clothes, but the only thing you can reach is the pajamas in your drawer and I'm sorry, but I'm not going to let you wear pjs out of the house (there's also no need to change your clothes every time you get a drop of water or food on them; this just creates an excessive amount of laundry for me). Please remember that everything I'm doing is only trying to help you. And I enjoy having my ear drums so kindly don't scream in them.
Dear Calli,
I know you have ears. I remember when you were born and I was looking over every inch of you, I examined your ears quite closely. This was because you had actual hair growing on the top of them. It was weird and I had never seen anything like it and I immediately imagined you were going to be some hairy bohemian. Luckily I was told the hair would go away and your ears would be beautiful (which it did and you are). So if you could do me the favor of LISTENING with those beautiful ears, that would be much appreciated. If I tell you not to do something, that means that I really don't want you to do it. I am not just saying words to hear myself talk: I don't enjoy the sound of my voice THAT much. If I have told you to do something (or not do something) five times over, please don't be surprised and whine at me when you are put in time out. I, too, wish I didn't have to resort to that, but you've left me no choice. If you would just open those pretty ears of yours and hear the things I tell you, these messes could be avoided. Is it really that difficult to let your brother play with you or to not be so bossy or to stop banging on the drum when I am getting a headache? These are good lessons to be learned since you are going off to school soon.
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