Eight down, five to go!

Each week of running has been getting progressively harder for me. I know this is how it's supposed to be. After all, I am getting ready to run 13.1 miles. No one ever said that was easy! And I wouldn't want it to be because if it was then everybody could do it and there would be nothing to be proud of and I wouldn't feel that I had accomplished anything. So in a way, the challenges are good; it means that I am pushing myself and getting to places that I never thought possible. I've now done an eight mile run, which means there are just about five more miles to go before I hit that ultimate goal of mine.

The good thing about the coming week is that my shorter runs stay the same from now on. I will do two five mile runs and one three mile run a week, followed by a long run which I add a mile to each week until I get to twelve miles two weeks before the race. I ran seven miles last weekend and it felt pretty good. I was nervous, but I did it and I felt very good about myself. This week was a little different though, which is ironic because I didn't spend any time sweating about this run like I have in the past. And maybe that's the key; maybe I need a healthy level of fear about my upcoming runs to keep me focused. I know that probably sounds silly; it seems that it would make it easier to just have no doubts that I can complete the runs than it would be to be scared of them. But for some reason, fear works for me. And I really didn't have any for this run and it was hard. I also chose a new route I've never run before, complete with a few very big hills (at least they were big to me!). I ran farther from home than I've ever gone before. The farthest I've been is about a mile out; I tend to just run around my neighborhood and I realize that it's a comfort zone for me and this time I chose to leave it. I was nearly four miles from home at my farthest point, but on the way back each step I took that put me closer to home seemed easier.

I still had two miles to go as I reached my home and I did run around the neighborhood, going whereever my body felt like taking me. As I reached 6.5 miles my body started to shut down on me. I only had a mile and a half left and convincing myself to keep going was hard; my knee was sore, my feet hurt and my toes were going numb. Finally I realized the only way to keep going was to slow way down and just not care about my pace. I get very preoccupied by my pace sometimes and that can really work against me. I know that speed will come with practice and it will come with time. I am trying to just build up my endurance for now, whether that means running at a 10 minute pace or a 12 minute pace (which is what I finished the last mile at). Just finishing the eight miles brought such relief. The other thing about having no fear is that it doesn't bring as much pride at the end. I finished eight miles. So what. It was just another check mark on my schedule and meant very little.

Next Sunday I have an eight mile race that I am sweating bullets for. Now that I have run eight miles and I know how hard it is for me, I'm nervous. But at the same time I know that the atmosphere during a race helps me feel a little better. And sheer will power will get me through to the end.

I just try and focus on my ultimate goal and envisioning myself crossing that finish line after 13.1 miles makes me want to cry. I know I can do it, I just have to practice and I have to believe. If everyone could do it, what would be the fun in that? Why would I feel proud of myself, why would I care? So really, it has to be this way. It has to be difficult and impossible and I have to hate it and love it at the same time.

Video!

Here's a recent video of the kids. I know I haven't posted one in awhile! Richard took this video so I apologize for the fact that you have to turn your head sideways to watch the first part.

What to do, what to do...

Why is it that I am 25 years old and yet I don't know what I want to do with my life? I know, I am still young, but by the time I get my degree I will be pushing THIRTY (the horror!) and quite frankly, that sounds old. So yes, at 25 I am slightly freaking out that I don't know what I want to do with my life. I am a mom and a wife, but I have always known that I wanted more than that in my life. For some women, that's enough. For me, I have always said I wanted to raise my kids until the youngest hit kindergarten and then I would go off and work and have that self fulfillment. I remember the life of being a housewife before we had kids when I couldn't find a job on Guam and it was B-O-R-I-N-G. So there is no way that I could just sit at home while the kids are at school all day. Besides that, I want to be productive. I want to contribute to our family in a monetary way, I want to contribute to our retirement, to our life, to our finances. And most importantly, I want to be happy and fulfilled and having a career, in addition to being a kick-ass mom, will let me have that.

I always thought I wanted to be a teacher. First of all, it's the perfect schedule for a mom. You get the weekends, the breaks and the summers off with your kids. You are home in the evenings with them to eat dinner together as a family. And besides that, it's just something I've always wanted to do. Education interests me and teaching children, impacting someone's life has a huge appeal to me. But recently, as I've started to get more serious about going back to school, I've begun to consider other options. First and foremost, I want to help people. And most of all, I want to help children. I want to have a job that I LOVE, but one that makes a difference in peoples' lives. Yes, almost every job out there has the potential to touch people, but I do think there are certain jobs that touch people on a larger scale and in different ways.

So I've been thinking about the medical field and how it has always held my interest. I am seriously considering nursing school with a specialty in pediatric nursing, eventually becoming a Pediatric Nurse Practioner. I have thought about working in the NICU or the PICU in hospitals, but those shifts are twelve hours and I don't think I'm willing to do that. Ideally I would love to be a NP in a doctor's office. But if that doesn't happen, can I be happy working in a hospital doing crazy shifts? I don't know. I want to be there for my kids. I want to be there for EVERYTHING. Every soccer game, every dance recital, every broken heart, every school play and every smile. I know this is never possible as a working parent, but I want to be there as much as possible. So this is where it gets tricky: finding that balance between happiness in a career and happiness as a mother. My first priority is being a mother of course and I NEVER NEVER NEVER want my kids to look back and see a void in their lives and remember times when I wasn't there or things I didn't do.

What to do, what to do. This is just a glimpse into my mind as of late and the things I've been pondering. As Richard embarks on his last college course, the time is drawing nearer for me to get the ball rolling on school. I am terrified but excited. Apprehensive, but curious. What does the future hold in store for me and for my family? Only time will tell...

(by the way, I do know how to write paragraphs, but for some reason when I publish my posts they just clump together in a big run on paragraph. Ughhhh.)

Around the House

Calli has always enjoyed her breakfasts and lunches at the bar in the kitchen. I don't know why, but this is the spot she chooses over the table. Personally when I'm eating a meal I like to sit in a supportive chair with a back, but different strokes for different folks right! Now that Serena is getting good at feeding herself I've been giving her cereal and milk in the morning just like her big sister. And she has also decided that she wants to eat it at the bar like her big sister.

Richard and the kids on Valentine's night
Serena loves to help with her baby brother in any way she can. She's now started asking to feed him, but I think she needs a little more practice.

And this is how I found my sweet girl the other day. Calli was at preschool and I had put a show on for Serena to watch while I ate lunch. She decided to sit in Jameson's toy, like she ALWAYS does. The problem is that she can get IN, but can't get out because we have to take the tray off for that to happen. This time thought she quietly got in and just watched the TV, which also is rare. She is not a huge TV fan! Before I knew it I heard snores coming from the living room and walked over to find her like this:

Comfy don't you think?

Botanical Gardens

Last weekend we made a trip to a botanical garden here. We go here 1-2 times a year when they have activities going on. We did their Halloween event two years in a row, but skipped this last year. It's a pretty place, but gardening is not really my thing. I can appreciate the beauty of the flowers and would love some color in my yard...but can someone else please come take care of it for me???

Anyway, there was a chocolate festival going on there that Saturday afternoon and after going to Valentine's Day storytime at the bookstore, we headed to the gardens for a treat. Unfortunately we caught the event at the tail end and didn't have much time to see and do everything. I tacked myself on the end of a line to get chocolate right away. We waited about fifteen minutes to get something. Calli got a banana dipped in chocolate, I got a brownie dipped in chocolate, Richard got a banana and Serena got the strawberry in chocolate (I should have just gotten the strawberry sans chocolate because she wouldn't eat it...seriously, she is not my child!!!!). We also had some hot chocolate and ganache (sp??). Yum!!

The girls found this little table while we were waiting in line.

Then they found this tree to run around.
Calli enjoying her hot chocolate

We headed over to a table for the kids to make Valentines next. They cut out hearts and put glue on the paper and sprinkled it with cocunut and chocolate shavings. They turned out pretty cute!

I can't remember the name of what this place was. But it had a cool waterfall!

I love people who see me taking a photo and volunteer to take all of our picture. Would have been really cute too if Jameson was LOOKING.

Playing in the water

Jameson wishing he could get out and join the fun. Soon enough you will be walking too little man!!

The girls

I made such an effort to get the perfect photo on this bench. I know, I know, impossible!! I always have Serena looking one way, Jameson looking the other, and Calli getting increasingly frustrated yelling out "cheeeeese" with a dopey grin on her face.

Richard and the girls in front of a water fountain

As we were getting ready to leave Calli was walking beside the stroller and holding Jameson's hand. I just thought that was really sweet. I am so lucky that I have two little girls who are such awesome big sisters. Hopefully Jameson appreciates that someday too!

Happy Valentine's Day!

We had a really great Valentine's Day weekend. Saturday evening (February 13th) the YMCA had a Parent's Night Out from 6-10. I signed the kids up right when I heard about it of course!! When you don't have family in town that means there are very few date nights outside of the house. The YMCA we go to is so fantastic and their childcare is the best so we knew the kids would have a great time. They went to a PNO in December at Calli's preschool (it was put on by the church) and that was nice also, but it was unfamiliar to Serena so she wasn't a happy camper when we left her. This time I felt confident that we were leaving her in a familar setting and she was just fine and no tears were shed when we left. They had a fun night planned for the kids involving pizza, movies and lots of playtime.

Meanwhile, Richard and I had a fun night planned! We decided to see a movie for the first time in months in a theater and decided we didn't have time for dinner at a restaurant and then a movie at the theater. So we found a place closeby that serves dinner during a movie. It's not in the best part of town, but it wasn't too far and we wanted to check it out anyway. It wasn't what either one of us was expecting at all! When we first drove up, the place looked very small; not at all like a big movie theater! We bought tickets at the box office which was disconnected from the theater and then walked into the theater itself after. It was older and had a cool atmosphere, which is hard to describe. It had a bar and we went up and ordered drinks since we were about 45 minutes early for the movie. I got a terrible margarita (and I am STILL giving this place a good review!) and Richard just had a beer, hard to go wrong with that! We went to find seats in the theater after getting our drinks and I was surprised to see it wasn't full at all on a Saturday night. There were movie theater style chairs/rows with a bar tables in front of all the seats. A waiter came and took our order and checked on us throughout the movie. We got some really good chips and salsa and then pizzas, which were pretty decent also!

Overall I have to say, this is the first place here that I have thought "wow, I REALLY like this place". I really have nothing bad to say about it. It isn't all hoity toity like some other dinner/movie theaters, it's very laid back and very much our style. It's perfect for parents who have limited time to see a movie and eat or get drinks. There are way better quality theaters out there, but for what we were looking for, it was perfect.

Calli took our picture before we went out.

Sunday of course was Valentine's Day. We had bought the kids a few little things at Target and I bought some Valentine's paper to wrap them in. I thought about just doing the bags, but I know my kids and I know they like to rip open their presents.

The girls got dresses, Jameson got a new shirt (super cute, don't you think??) and then Serena got a book with stickers, Calli got a puzzle and Jameson got two trains. The girls also got some lollipops to share.

I love this photo. It needs no words, you just have to appreciate the expressions on their faces.

Serena had stickers in her new book and also some in her card and insisted on putting on each and every sticker right then and there. And of course she got mad at me when I tried to take her photo. My little drama queen!

And my sweet little boy. He is so laid back and go-with-the-flow. But do you really have much choice when you are child #3?

My Little Valentines!

I like Valentine's Day. I know what they say: it's just a dumb Hallmark Holiday. And while I do agree with that, now that I have kids I enjoy it so much more than I used to! There are just so many fun activities for kids to do around this time each February. We are going to Valentine storytime at the bookstore on Saturday. I get to pick out some little Valentine treasures for my little Valentines to open on that special day. And Calli had a fun Valentine's party at her preschool on Tuesday.

We went shopping on Sunday for supplies. I knew most of the other moms were going to put together little goody bags for the kids and I didn't want to be left out! I love doing this sort of thing so it was off to Michaels. I always get the same take-out boxes anytime I put something like this together and luckily they had Valentine's themed ones. I immediately picked them up, even though I didn't know what would go in there yet. Calli picked out her Valentines she wanted to hand out (Hannah Montana of course!) and then we looked around trying to find the perfect things to put in the boxes. Now, I have fun with these, but I also recognize the fact that, as a parent, I hate to get a bunch of junk that I'll just end up throwing away. I also didn't want to get a bunch of candy because I don't appreciate that either! So I found a cupcake mix that came with a heart cookie cutter to cut out the top of a cupcake and fill with icing. Well, I didn't need a kit for that, I could do it on my own! I got Valentine ziplock bags to put the cupcakes in and also some heart shaped bubbles to stick in the boxes. (I also printed out Chuck E Cheese valentines online that you can bring in for five tokens!).

Here is a filled box

Monday I made and decorated the cupcakes and they turned out pretty cute if I do say so myself.

I sat down with Calli later so she could write out her valentines. I wanted her to write each of the kids' names on them instead of me doing it (it turned out that she was the only one in her class that did it herself!). I wrote out the name for her and she copied it, as you can see in the first picture of the box with the card on top. She is a pro at writing her name so the "from" part was easy. I was very proud of her for writing all those names out.

She had a lot of fun at her school party and brought home way too much candy and sweets of course! But I suppose that's how things are supposed to be on Valentine's Day. Richard and I are excited to celebrate our Valentine's Day as well because the YMCA is having a Parent's Night Out on Saturday evening. We'll be leaving the kids there from 6-10 and hopefully seeing a movie or at the very least going out for a kid-free meal.

And here are my little goofballs...I mean Valentines!

Love this photo!

And they toppled over...

The Rodeo Race

Racing Day, it's Racing Day....

Any Backyardigans fans out there? I have probably seen that racing episode a thousand times so of course the song popped in my head as I went to blog about my race.

I did it! I survived! Okay, it was only four miles, but I've realized something. I thought of this as an insignificant race, but really it is anything but. This race is the beginning of running journey. It marks the starting point for (hopefully) many races to come. We all have to start somewhere right? I started at four miles...

I woke up at 5:45am on Saturday morning. I had butterflies in my stomach, but I was also very excited. I had laid everything out already the night before because I didn't want to forget anything. I had my watch, my clothes, my GU and my number all ready to go. It was pitch black out when I left the house and a balmy 40 degrees. I was wearing shorts because I hate running in any kind of pants. I had on one of my tech shirts and the race shirt I had been given at check-in (it was long sleeved). I figured I would decide whether or not I would wear that later, depending on if the temperature rose a few degrees. I arrived in the parking lot around 6:50am and was among the first there. I always stress about these kinds of things and wonder if it's going to be super crowded, if I'll get a parking spot, etc. So my motto is "better to be early than late!" I ended up sitting in my car with the toasty heater going, listening to music and people watching. I got out of my car at about 7:15 to go the registration table and pick up my chip (so I could have my exact time recorded). It was still freezing and I decided to wait in my car for a little while longer. Around 7:40 I got out and started walking around (at this point it was still only 40 something degrees and I decided to keep my long sleeve shirt ON) to get my muscles warm.

After what seemed like forever, things finally got under way. A couple of speeches, the national anthem, people yelling "start the race!!" and we finally lined up at the start. This race is tiny compared to what my half marathon will be I'm sure, so although everyone started in a pack, it quickly thinned out and I was able to find my pace. I hated not knowing where I was going. Of course everything was marked, but I didn't like that I had never seen the course before and didn't know if there would be hills, where the turns were, etc etc. The first two miles flew by and I maintained a 9:45 pace. There was a decent hill during the first mile, but I paced myself and made it up with no problems. Then came the really bad part of the route (seriously, who designed this trail??). I found myself on some kind of grassy hill, on a path only a few feet wide trying to maintain balance so I didn't go toppling down the other side. It was muddy as heck because of all the rain we had gotten the week before and there were huge tree roots sticking out of the ground. What a smart place to make a running trail for a race so we can all trip and break our ankles! I slowed down for this part because 1) I really didn't want to trip and 2) the trail was so narrow that I couldn't pass anyone and didn't dare try lest I go rolling down a hill.

I was happy to get out of that part and back to the street. At the end of mile three we reached the AT&T Center and spent the next mile running around in the parking lots and around the building before finally coming to finish at the entrance to the rodeo. Silly me, I didn't even think to check my time as I crossed the finish! I knew I had that chip on so I was just thinking about that. I did have my watch and knew I finished somewhere around 40 minutes, but didn't know my exact time until later that day when I was able to go online and find out. Turns out I finished in 40:09. I pretty much met my goal so I am happy with that. I finished 26/64 in my age group and 269/559 overall.

After the race was over Richard and the kids met me there. They didn't get there in time to see me finish, but at least they made it! I paid $20 for the registration fee to do this race and for that money I got: TO RACE, a shirt, free breakfast (for my family too!), free Starbucks coffee, free beer (at 9am I think I'll pass!), and free admission to the rodeo grounds. If you add all that stuff up, it comes out to way more than $20 so what a great deal! It was also nice being at the rodeo early because it wasn't crowded at all yet. It was VERY COLD however and I am so glad that I remembered to ask Richard to bring me a pair of jeans to put on after the race or I would have frozen to death. After the strong winds died down it was a decent day and we all ended up with sunburns! When it's been raining the last week or so nonstop sunscreen is pretty much the last thing on your mind...so needless to say, that was forgotten! I was very happy that the heavens opened up and let the sun shine just for that one day. The very next day it was cloudy again and then the rain started up on Monday. But I was offered a brief respite on my race day and couldn't have asked for more!

I can't put the actual photo on my page, but if you want to see me crossing the finish line you can go here.

So this is me after changing into my jeans and getting my Starbucks, yum!

We passed by a (sort of) puppet show and decided to stop and watch. It was ending so we only caught a couple minutes, but I always think it's so cute how the girls like to sit together and be all sisterly.
Right next door we saw that a farm animal show was starting up (okay, maybe I should have prefaced this post by saying RODEOS ARE SO NOT MY THING. So I don't really know the terminology for all the things we saw and did...). The girls enjoyed seeing the goats anddddd...other farm animals whose names escape me at the moment.

Jameson was having a grand old time too!

We left that show and came to a Kidgets stand. Kidgets is a program that Simon Malls (located all over the nation) has for kids. For $5 a kid you get some cool things, which vary depending on when/where you sign up. Since we signed up at the rodeo, the kids got cowgirl hats, a shirt, a free photo taken, and some other things. Each month we get to go to the information stand at the mall and get coupons!

The next area we went was the Inflatable Wonderland sponsored bounce house place. They had four bounce houses set up and it was free to play. The girls could have stayed here the whole time, but I was ready to move on after awhile...

We ran into H-E-Buddy (do other grocery stores have mascots? This is kind of weird). Ahhhh, Calli is standing with my sworn enemy!! Hehehe.

And of course the best place of all in the rodeo is THE CARNIVAL GROUNDS. We got Calli an armband for $25 and she could go on unlimited rides. Serena was too small for 99% of the rides so we got a couple coupons and let her ride on the trains a few times. Calli couldn't wait to go on the carasol (amazingly enough they wouldn't even let Serena on if she was WITH an adult. Not even to sit on the bench they have on there for LITTLE KIDS TO SIT ON. And then at the carasol on the other side of the grounds she could go on. Seriously, what is up with that??)

Richard took the girls on this train. Calli wanted to ride so she ran up to it and when Serena saw her sister get on and heard me tell her that she was too little, she started crying that "my feelings are hurt" cry. That one breaks your heart! So that's when Richard went to buy some coupons so she could ride too.

Calli on her cool PINK car!

We wandered in and out of the carnival area a few times, doing other things around the rodeo. I have no interest in the actual rodeo part of it so we just stuck to walking around and seeing the different boothes, etc. We had some really gross lunch and I realized how nasty fair food is. Cheesecake on a stick anyone? Even funnel cakes, the ultimate fair food, look nasty to me. We had yucky corn dogs with fries that weren't even all the way cooked and looked and tasted like someone had dumped a gallon of canola oil on them AFTER they were done cooking. We really wanted hamburgers, but we weren't going to wait in the long line to pay $12 a burger (yes you read that right. I could get twelve junior bacon cheeseburgers at Wendys for that price). Lesson for next time: pack your own lunch? Or find better food options there. We did LOVE the exhibit that handed out free ice cream. We all got an ice cream cone of soft serve to enjoy. Then a few hours later in the same place there was an ice cream social going on and we stopped in for some more ice cream (we chose from Nutty Chocolate and Strawberry Cheesecake). So here are the girls enjoying their ice cream and playing in a house thing.

All in all it was a fun day. I was wiped at the end of it though and was happy to get home and take a much needed shower and eat some real food! So now we can say that we went to the rodeo this year...check!

The Childrens Museum

Last Friday we had a playdate with a soccer friend. The mom was my assistant coach last soccer season (and will be again this one). They are a very nice family, brought here because of the military and living about five minutes from us, and I'm glad that we've kept in touch and become friends over the last year. Her daughter is in a private school pre-k full time so we don't get too many opportunities to get together. We usually set things up for days that her daughter has off of school and last week we decided to check out the San Antonio Childrens' Museum. Neither of us had been before, although we have been to the Childrens' Museum in New Braunfels, which is about an hour drive from us. I had heard that was a great museum even before we went there and it didn't disappoint! We love that place and wish it was much closer so we could go more often. But I realized we had this other museum much closer and although I hadn't heard good things about it, I figured why not check it out, how bad could it be?

Now I don't mean that it's BAD. And maybe my opinion is jaded because I went to the other childrens' museum first, but I was very disappointed with this place. It is pretty old and although they've made some updates, it's still pretty lacking. The McKenna museum (in NB) is a very big, open area, whereas this one was very closed off: we couldn't let the kids just run around on their own. Plus it had three stories so we had to follow them everywhere. They were pretty bored at first until we finally found the mock grocery store downstairs and then they had a ball going shopping and checking out at the register.

Serena went for the Lean Cuisine style Mac and Cheese right away - she loaded up on a few boxes. I asked her if she wanted some fruit snacks also and she nodded yes and grabbed them out of my hand so fast! (my little fruit snack monster!)
We headed to the bubble room next and this place was fun, but we all got a little too wet. They had this contraption that you could use to make a bubble around yourself. It didn't work very well though and it kept popping way too early. I love Calli's face in this photo because her bubble had JUST popped again and she was getting annoyed, haha.

Finally we stopped at the ball section on the way out. They had all these different tubes that you could put the balls in and they popped out different places. This and the grocery store were the best exhibits there.

All in all, while I'm glad we went to check it out, I wouldn't go here again. If I want to go to a childrens' museum, I will drive out to the other one instead of waste my money here. The kids have more fun and it's just a nicer place. It's disappointing that this one didn't turn out to be better, but that's how it goes I guess!